


The Grant Job

by Bonniebird17



Category: Outlander, Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Bank Robbery, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-04-28 03:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 45,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14440683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonniebird17/pseuds/Bonniebird17
Summary: Claire Beauchamp should have stayed at home this day from her work at the bank. But then she wouldn’t have met Mac Dubh...~





	1. Chapter 1

Claires days at work, at Grant Bank were usually the same as the other. She was the cashier and she had her own booth and she spent hours counting money, talking to hysterical people who had saved money for years under their mattresses and wanted to put their money in the bank. Then there was they who believed that the government conspired against them so they wanted to take out all their money instead, but whatever happened during the day she went home by the end of the day, until today.

 

Claire hadn’t even bothered to look up when the doors opened, But when she heard a man screaming out in the hall, she looked up and she saw five masked men, all with big guns, screaming " _everybody down to the ground."_

Her first reaction was to press the emergency button under her table, but just when she was about do press it, she had a very tall robber in front of her with a gun aimed at her. " _I would not press that button if I was you lass._ "

 

Claire raised her hands away from the table and up in air over her head. Behind the long robber in front of her, she saw a significant shorter man who was kicking the security guard, who was laying on the floor with his hands trying to protect his head. The last three robbers aimed their weapons against all the customers who were on the floor. A little boy on the ground was crying while his mother tried desperately to comfort him. " _If no one moves, nobody will get hurt_." 

 

The robber in front of her forced her to open the door that separated them so he could come in. " _Open the safe now_ " he said and Claire didn’t dared to object. She walked down the stairs with two of the robbers and they walked to the big vault.

It was just herself and another man who had access to open the big vault and if you wanted to access your compartment you needed to book an appointment and Claire wondered if it was just luck or if they knew that she was the one who could open it.

 

The tall and the short robbers took her keys and were quick to empty each compartment and they put everything they got a hold on into big black bags, Thousands of dollars and jewelry.

The short man were sweating something terribly and he pulled of his mask in frustration. " _Are you stupid?? Now she has seen your face_!! "Shouted the tall one.

The panic that they would shoot her now started coming. " _I promise I won’t say anything_." She stammered.

They kept emptying all the shelves and compartment into their bags and when they were full, both of them turned to her. " _Mac Dubh, maybe we should bring her with us?_ " Said the short one and the one called Mac Dubh nodded.

She didn’t dared to move as the tall one walked against her and she felt even more panicked as he grabbed her. Before she understood what had happened, this Mac Dubh carried her over his shoulder and left the vault.

Once up the stairs, the little one shouted to the rest of the robbers. " _leig leam falbh_ " and everyone including Claire was heading out through the back door of the Bank.

They threw her into their van and she was on the floor next to the bags with the money and Claire closed her eyes, Afraid that if she saw anyone’s face they would probably shoot her.

She lost the perception of how long they had been driving, towards an unknown destination.

When the car finally stopped, she still didn’t dared to open her eyes.

 

_"What should we do with the Sassenach?”_


	2. Chapter 2

When someone started pulling her out of the car, Claire  opened her eyes, desperate trying to see where she was, to get some kind idea if the worst thing would happened, she began to check her surroundings. It seemed very desolate and the only thing she saw was a large warehouse and the van them came in. The man who was pulling her into the warehouse was quite tall, slender and had a big full beard but it wasn’t  the same man she had seen down in the vault.

 

He placed her on a couch in the middle of warehouse room. It was an extremely large space and in one corner there were lots of beds and in the other corner she saw a large table with paper on.

She turned nervously on her bracelet and tried to look for another way out, She wondered where the rest of the robbers were, thinking if they had gone to another place while this hairy man stayed to finish the job. But he didn’t do anything, he just stood by the door and looked outside.

 

She saw that there was one more door in the room that was a hidden behind a shelf. _200 meters, maybe I can make it,_  she thought, staring back at the hairy man. Alone with one man, maybe she had a chance to escape.

 

She gently got out of the couch and she ran. As fast as she could, without looking back, she heard the hairy man screaming " _HEYY_ ", but she was so close, the door was open and she found herself in a long corridor. She ran down faster and rounded the corner and crashed with a man. He grabbed her arms. " _Where do you think your going?_ " Said the tall ,bald man. She heard footsteps and the hairy man came. " _Dougal she just ran away, I didn’t even see her leaving the sofa_."

 

" _Shut up!! Your bastard now she knows what my name ... you're jeopardizing this whole job._ "

 

Dougal pulled her back down the hall and back to the big room she just tried to escape. He threw her down on the couch again. " _If you try to escape again, I'll shoot you._ " He said tears began to flow down her face and she sat herself up on the couch.

The hairy man looked angry at her and he sat down next to her on the sofa so if she tried to escape again he would be faster this time.

She saw how car came driving and it parked outside. Out came what she thought was the rest of the robbers, three men, one of whom was the man who had revealed his face, he was small, bearded and seemed to miss two front teeth. When she looked at the other robbers, she was stuck on the long red-haired man. He was an attractive man who didn’t look like a bank robber, and when she heard him talking to Dougal, she realized he was Mac Dubh.

 

Everybody ignored her and the annoying hairy man she understood was Murtagh was still close by. She didn’t want to know any more names or even want to look at the others with the fear that the more she saw the more was she risk she wouldn’t survive the day.

 

Murtagh was exchanged after awhile by the little man without teeth who apparently was called Angus. _Yet another name_ , she thought, wishing she was blind instead. The rest stood at the table down in the corner and they were counting the money. It looked to be close to seven million. A occupational injury she thought as she could see how much money layed on the table without even counting herself.

 

" _7 million wohooo, good work guys_ " cried one of the men.

 

"7 _million is good but not good enough ... 1.1 million each will not take us far. We still have one more job_ , "Dougal said.

Mac Dubh who was leaning against the wall, watching when the others stood and counted the money. His facial expression looked worried and then he looked at her. " _But what are we going to do with the Sassenach? We have leave soon!_ "He asked the others.

Everyone turned around and they looked at her, switched from English to a language she hadn’t  heard before. Dougal and Mac Dubh were shouting at each other, there were a lot of hands waving and fingers pointing at her and she felt uncomfortable.

When Dougal came walking towards her, she thought it was the end. Now your going to die She though and started pulling her of the couch. " _You're coming with us and if I even suspect you're trying to escape again, I promise I'll shoot you right where you stand..”_

 

Then she was in a car again, driving to a unknown location. This time she sat in a smaller car, in the back seat, alone with Mac Dubh who was driving.

 

~

 

He looked back at her in the rearview mirror a few times. She looked terrified and he was ashamed. There was never a plan to bring a hostage, but when Anguspulled off his mask, he panicked.

His other uncle was already in prison for robbery and murder and Colum had been disabled after some intimates had attacked him and he would spend 10 more years in there, He didn’t want that to happened to him.

Dougal had agreed to bring her with them until they knew what to do with her. He wanted to let her go while Dougal wanted to kill her, He wished he could make her relax and tell her he didn’t  wanted to hurt her, but he was afraid she would dare to run away if he said anything.

It was best that he was quiet. But still when he looked into the rear-view mirror and they got eye contact for the first time in the car, he wished he was somebody else.

 

They were still a few hours away, she was asleep and he thought, " _one last job Jamie.”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i really love this story to,

Claire woke up when she heard the car door closed. She panic when she didn’t understand where she was and it was dark outside. Mac Dubh opened her car door and she carefully  began to get out of the car.

They were on a parking lot outside a motel, _"I need you to promise to be quiet!"_ He said when he grabbed her hand and she nodded, the. he lead her to the stairs, up and then into one of the rooms. Claire didn’t know if she was in shock or not and her brain was screaming to her to scream but she couldn’t get a word out.

Being alone with a bank robber in a car was tough, but being locked in a room with one was even worse.

  
He closed and the  locked the door, while she was trying to keep as much distance as she could from him. They said nothing for a long time.  
  
_"You don’t  have to be afraid, I'm not going to touch you."_ He said low and looked at her.  
  
_"_ Don’t be afraid? You kidnap me, you threaten to shoot me and I'm locked up in this motel room _God_ knows where _.”_ Claire couldn’t understand how she dared to argue with the man, it had to be the adrenaline slowly running out of her body combined with hunger because her fear seemed to transformed into anger.  
  
"Do you think I want to sit here and watch _you_?!! But I dont have much choice." Mac Dubh replied equally annoyed.  
  
"You can let me go? _"_  
  
"So you can run to the police? You have both seen and heard us. Dougal said that after our last job, he will drop you somewhere,"  
  
"Please let me go, I promise I won’t  say anything, Let me go,No one will know, please.” He seemed to discuss with himself, because he started walking back and forth between the door and the bed she was sitting on.  
  
_"I can’t."_ He replied after a while, irritated. She didn’t know if he was annoyed at her or himself.  
  
They sat on each bed and ate something that no-one would call food, that he had bought in the vending machine outside their door and the silence made her even more uncomfortable. She was afraid he would tell Dougal about her wish about just letting her go. She might be afraid of the red-haired Mac Dubh, but not as bad as she was of Dougal, he had promised to kill her if she tried to escape.  
  
The clock in the room was at 02.24 and she didn’t want to fall asleep, Mac Dubh scrolled through the boring channels on television and it didn’t seem like he was going to sleep either.  
  
_"Is Mac Dubh your real name?"_  
  
_"No."_  
  
Claire had heard somewhere that if people told personal things about themselves, about their family and about their lives, there was a greater chance that the perpetrators didn’t  kill them.  
  
_"My name is Claire .... I'm 27 years old .. I have a cat called Adso."_  
  
He said nothing, just watched her with a confused look and she continued.  
  
"My parents died in a car accident when I was 5 years old .... I'm still paying off my car loan .... and my boyfriend name is Frank."  
  
"So Claire ... why are you telling me this?"  
  
"I thought if you knew things about me, there would be a greater chance you would´nt kill me."  
  
"So if you told me you had a cat and boyfriend, I would feel less tempted to kill you?" And to her surprise and irritation, he started laughing. "I have already said that I am not going touch you."  
  
She said nothing more but she started to feel a bit better and she managed to fall asleep.  
  
When she woke up, she saw Mac Dubh was sleeping, gently she got up, took a step and he flew up out off bed with a weapon he had hid under the pillow.  
  
_"I ... I ... I just wanted to go to the bathroom."_  
  
She was looking at herself in the mirror, She took cold water on her face. She had planned to escape again and he had hid a gun under the pillow, it could have ended badly. The thoughts of trying to escape began to feel idiotic. _"Claire, you're not a super hero, if you're shot you will bleed."_ She took a little more water on her face and went out again.  
  
~  
  
Her name was Claire, she had a cat, she told things about herself, hoping he wouldn’t hurt her. She had wondered about his name but he couldn’t  reveal it to her if she would tell the police later.  
  
When she finally fell asleep, he could look at her properly without making her feel more uncomfortable. She really was a attractive woman, definitely not what he usually interests in but there was something special about her. _"She's your hostage, she has a boyfriend, get a grip"_  
  
He had just allowed himself to sleep a little when he heard something in the room, he flew up with the gun in his hand, her gaze when she watched the gun made him feel ashamed again. She almost ran into the toilet.  
  
He thought about what his mother used to say when he was a kid. _"Do not swim so far you can’t swim back Jamie, then you’ll drown."_ And all he could feel was that in that hotel room he was drowning.  
  
Dougal said that they would have to stay three days at the motel before they would meet them and Jamie began to think of her boyfriend again, the man must realize she was gone?, maybe he had already called the police?,and they were looking for her.  
  
The newspapers had obviously written about their bank robbery and they wrote how much money they received, but not a word about Claire, maybe if they had an ongoing investigation, they didn’t  want the media to try to ruin their cover by publishing something about her.  
  
He had used violence before, even shot a man. But to beat a woman he would never do. He only hurt people who deserved it, like that guy he had hit with a baseball bat, that guy had tried to force himself on his sister so he had deserved it.

Jamie sat in prison 6 months for it and that was the beginning of the road he was on now.  
  
When Claire got out of the bathroom she didn’t even look at him.


	4. Chapter 4

Claire was under the blanket and wished she was home in her own house, not locked up with a criminal who held her against her will in a crappy motel.

 

But soon someone had to realize that she was missing, She knew Frank was away for a couple of days, but he had to wonder why she didn’t answer the phone and he didn’t have any keys to her apartment either. "Oh God Adso !!" She never came home yesterday, she never let him in. Perhaps it was as good that he was outside instead alone in the apartment.

Did anyone see her go with the robbers at all? Do they think she is home being to traumatized to come back to work? Was anyone asking where she was?

She looked out from the blanket and looked at Mac Dubh, he had to be almost two feet tall, he could barely fit thebed. His eyes shut, but she knew he was awake.

She thought back to the evening before, he seemed to be a genuine man even if he looked like a big dangerous Viking. He made sure she got food even if it tasted bad and he said many times over and over that  he didn’t  want to hurt her. But His attitude commuted from being the tough robber he thought he was with an insecure man who really didn’t know what to do with the situation.

His arms were huge she thought, and she began to look at his hands and realized that she was checking him out. She snapped out of her inspection when she saw that he was looking at her. Embarrassed she tried to look away and said.

 

"How long do we have to stay here?" She sad casually.

 

"Until Dougal and the others come here."

 

"What happens when they come then? Whats really going to happening with me?"

 

"You'll go home when we're done. Someone will leave you while we're going somewhere safe."

 

"How can I trust you?" In the course of 24 hours I've had a gun against my head at least four times, almost all of those times it have been Dougals. " Her brain still couldn’t understand where her attitude came from but there was something with this man who made her unable to keep quiet.

 

"I can’t  promise what's going to happen right now but I promise I will not let Dougal hurt you."

 

"How will you know? if you let me go with him alone?"

 

He was silent, perhaps he hadn’t thought of the possibility that it would be Dougal who would take her away alone.

 

"Claire, I didn’t  want any of this to happen. The plan was never to take you with me.”

 

"Why did you do that then?" She started crying and tried to pull the covers higher up to get a sense of security.

 

"I was afraid alright?" He said and once again she was surprised by his honesty. But her tears prevented her from continuing the conversation.

 

"Hey, dont cry." He made an uncomfortable move to get up but remembered that she probably wouldn’t  want to be comforted by the man who was the reason she was there from the beginning.

 

Claire got out off her bed and she went to the bathroom, She looked in the mirror and her mirror image was not pretty. Yesterday's makeup completely smeared all over her face, her hair that was in perfect condition yesterday was a bird nest and she still wore her jacket that had became dirty when she was lying on the floor of the van.

She thought that a bath would make her feel better and she wanted to escape from Mac Dubh for a while.

 

She felt confused about how she was frustrated and angry with the man outside, yet seemed sympathetic to the situation he was in. "Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome, people usually feel things for their captors..." and she tried to shake of the thoughts of how extremely attractive he was.

 

She started thinking about Frank, they'd been together for almost 2 years. But They lived in separate apartments because his was full of junk or research as he would say. He was a nice man who worked as a professor at university, they lived a pleasant yet very separate life. But she hoped that he wasn’t to busy with his job that he would find out to late that she was missing.

 

She got scared when she heard him knocking on the door. "I thought you might want a towel?"

 

"Oh yes, thank you." She hadn’t  even noticed that there wasn’t a towel in the room. He opened the door a bit, left a towel and then he closed. She wondered how he even opened the door because she could swear that she had locked it.

 

With the towel around her head she put on her skirt again and her white top, she began to wash her clothes in the washbasin and wondered if she dared to take off her panties to wash them too.

 

~

 

When she got out of the bathroom, he noticed that her hair was curly. She had taken of her jacket and her eyes did not look as swollen by crying anymore. He had a bag of clothes in the car and wondered if he would offer her one of his shirts.

She sat as far away from him on her bed and she seemed nervous.

 

"Why did you walk over to me at the bank? You have to have known that I was one of the few who had access to the vault?.. "

 

He was thinking of lying but chose to be honest.

 

"Before every job, we go through many different steps. One of the steps is to ensure that we have as much information as we can about the staff, the building and the security. "

 

"But how could you know?"

 

"I had the mission to keep an eye on you .."

 

"So you already knew my name?"

 

"No, I had no idea about your name. I sat on the restaurant, the one across the street to the bank. I saw that you were the one who received all the customers and that you were the one who left your booth unlike your colleagues. "

 

"It sounds like an extremely bad job if you didn’t  even knew my name ..."

 

"I never said I was a professional."

 

"How long did you watch me?"

 

"One week.."

 

"So instead of booking a meeting with me at the bank, you sat and look through the window? Had you pretended to be a potential customer who wanted to open an account, you would have seen whoever had the key and knew exactly how long it took to get there. "

 

"How many banks have you robbed? You're very keen to claim to be just a cashier. "

 

"Four," she replied, and he was surprised that she was joking.

 

He had been commissioned to find the one who had the key to the vault but he had never followed her or tried to know anything about her. His first priority was always the mission. She had been sharing the small parts of her life the night before and he began to feel that he wanted to know more about the brave little woman who was locked in a room with her kidnapper and were making jokes. He didn’t even realize he asked about her boyfriend before he said it. "Do you think your boyfriend knows your missing?"

 

"I don’t know ... he's gone a lot. He sometimes disappears for a few days. Once he realizes I'm gone maybe it's to late. "

 

For two seconds he forgot he was her kidnapper. He had revealed lots of information and he had lowered his gard. He apologized and went to the toilet.

The mirror was still mist by her hot bath and behind the shower curtain hung her clothes. He tried to ignore that he saw her underwear hanging, hiding behind her jacket.

 

Jamie didn’t know what he would do, He didn’t meant to speak so much but he seemed to feel relaxed around her. He needed to snap out of it.

She was his responsibility to take care of, make sure she did not escape and he realized in that moment that he actually left her alone when he entered the toilet and he ran out.

 

She was gone.

 

He was pissed at himself that he had left her alone, that he was not paying attention. He saw her shoes still in the room and he ran outside.

 

It had started to get dark and he knew that there were only men who were unfaithful to their wives who stayed at this motel. No one would ask any questions if they heard a woman call for help. Not because he thought she was dumb enough to draw attention by shouting, If he had read her right she would run as far as she could without shoes and then hide.

 

The motel was quite small and the gate to the parking lot was wide open, she must have left he thought.

 

After a little while out on the empty road, he could see that she wasn’t  there and then he chose to change tactics. He started guessing that she left the door open to mislead him. So he hid next to the pool and waited.

 He smiled a little while he saw her sneaking out of the shadows and he waited until she came closer. As she passed, he took his hand over her mouth, she was terrified and she tried to get away. She was strong, he had to admit but not strong enough to overthrow him. But she started kicking and he fell and they both went into the pool.

 

With her hand still over her mouth, he managed to drag her in some way back to the room. The look she gave him matched his own anger and he wanted to break something to get out his frustration.

 

"You ... you don’t  understand what would happen if I hadn’t  found you."

 

"I don’t care!!!"

 

"Do you have a deathwish woman?"

 

"What? are you going to kill me now?"

 

The question made him stop, He took a deep breath and the water that ran down from his hair reminded him that they stood in their own puddles after they fell into the pool.

 

"No, I'm not gonna kill you." He felt how he started to calm down.

 

"I have extra clothes in the car, can you promise you stay here while I go and pick up the bag? Do not think I'm hesitating to tie you up if you're try anything. "

 

"You would like that your sadist!" She spit back.

 

He left the room before saying something he would undoubtedly regret and When he came back she sat on the bed and tried to dry her hair with the towel she used before. he looked for the biggest sweater he could find and then he threw it next to her on the bed.

 

She took it and went into the bathroom. In order not to make the same mistake again, he started to remove all his wet clothes and switch to a pair of sweatpants and a gray sweater.

 

He saw when she slipped into the room again, wearing nothing but his shirt and he couldn’t  stop thinking she probably had nothing at all under It.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to hear your feedback!!! Always make me sooo happy , thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To mizzmo22 for inspiring me this chapter. Xoxo

Claire stood in her kitchen, cooking and she danced along to the music, Chris Issak echoed out of the speakers.

 

**_"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you_ **

**_It's strange what desire will make foolish people do_ **

**_I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you_ **

**_And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you "_ **

 

The music was so high that she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching and She saw the masked man when she turned around to look in the oven. She should have screamed, she should have been scared but it was as if she knew who the man with the mask was. His long muscular body and his blue eyes resembled someone she knew.

He slowly moved towards her and his eyes drilled into her soul in a way that made her body ache.

She dared not the breathe when he stood a few inches away from her face, the quick beating from her heart began to overthrow the loud music in her ears.

She started rolling up his mask so his mouth became visible, when he started licking his lips she became hypnotized and she started to mimic his movement.

The moment she leaned in to meet his lips she woke up, sweaty, disoriented in a dark room. The big figure in bed next to her reminded her where she actually was.

But what most confused her was the feelings she had in her dream and how her waking state was still affected, Without underwear, she could feel the sheets was wet and she could feel the smell of her own excitement.

 

The clock was at 04.21, the rhythm of her sleep had been changed by spending several hours in that room.

She had fallen asleep relatively quickly after returning her to the room the other night. She was still cold after they fell into the pool. She was pretty sure he wouldn’t dare to tell Dougal that he left her alone for a long time so she could escape. She wasn’t planning to run, but when he was in the bathroom , she had just got up and left. Outside she hid behind the bushes hoping he would take the car and go out looking for her.

 

Her new plan was to make him relax enough to become careless again. She would do anything to make Mac Dubh trust her. She relied on the fact that he wouldn’t hurt her and it motivated her.

Next time I not going to hide, I'm going to run.

 

 

~

 

He could hear her thinking. She was on her side and didn’t  seem to find a position that was comfortable. Jamie himself failed to sleep more than an hour here and there. Afraid that if he slept too deeply, he would not wake up.

He had seriously thought of tie her to the bed, but when she walked out and laying almost completely naked besides his shirt, he didn’t dared to leave the bed. Afraid to reveal his erection that appeared under his pants. The only way to get rid of it would have been easy if he was alone, but he was a meter away from her and there was nowhere to go, he just had to wait it out and at that time she was already sleeping. 

Jamie tried desperately to think of something else and he began to think about their next job, they would do their biggest robbery so far. He didn’t really need more money to disappear and start a new life elsewhere. But the kick he got made him greedy so he had agreed on one last job. The fear of being taken by the police was always there but their plan was bulletproof. 

 

The Grant Job had been a easy job with one week preparation, it had been the warm up for the big finale.

 

He spent several months trying to seduce the bank director's daughter Laoghaire and she had been an easy target. She had been so desperate for love that she practically threw herself on him. She knew him as Alexander Malcom, a role he played to good. Laoghaire eagerly wanted to introduce him to her dad and after that he had managed to get the most of the information they needed, The security guard's schedules and all the blueprints on the building. They were ready, They would break in during the night. Now the others just needed to come. “Two more days.”

 

"I heard that the others is calling you Mac Dubh? Is there anything else I can call you? "He woke up from his thoughts when Claire talked to him.

 

"Malcolm."

 

"Is that your real name?"

 

"Aye, In a way...."

 

"Okay Malcolm ... I wanted to say that I .. that I didn’t  mean what I said yesterday. You have treated me better then maybe someone else hadn’t  and I should appreciate it. It could have been worse. Dougal wouldn’t  have treated me as well. "

 

"My uncle is not so terrible if you get to know him." He realized that he just told her he was related to Dougal.

 

"Uncle? Are you family? "

 

He didn’t  know what he would say. He seemed to lose all of his braincells around this woman and She seemed to notice that the conversation was over, with his silence. He wouldn’t talk anymore. He shouldn’t...

He was just about to fall asleep when she said. "Malcolm?"

"Aye?"

"Can you raise the heat? I am still cold. "He could hear her teeth shaking from the other side of the room and he was afraid she would get sick.

"Feeling better? He asked after a while.

"No"


	6. Chapter 6

Claire was cold and she was freezing something terrible but her plan was never to try to seduce him. She just wanted to soften him a bit to think she was getting sick so he might take her to a hospital or disappear to a pharmacy so she could disappear. Bur when he had gone out of bed and into hers, she didn’t know what she would do.

 

"What are you doing?" She whispered

 

"Body heat ... that's all I could think of"

 

He was on his back next to her, above the covers.

 

"You're still shaking .."

 

"It is okay. I'll be fine soon. "He shifted so he moved closer closer.

 

"Have you had many hostages before?" She asked to distract herself.

 

He looked down at her and looked surprised.. "Do you think it's my hobby to kidnap people, send them down in the pool and then share bed with them?"

 

"I didn’t mean it like that ..."

 

"No Claire ... this is the first time for me. And hopefully last. I guess that if you read the handbook about kidnapping, then it would show a picture of me with a caption of what you should not do. "

 

At 7.29 he was still in the bed with her, He had fallen asleep. "I can imagine that if you read what not to do as a hostage, they would show a picture of me. If it feels better, "she whispered to the sleeping Max Dubh. All her alarms started to ring over the fact that she was starting getting warmer but she still didn’t want him to move.

"What are you doing Claire, focus ..." she thought while studying Malcolm. His facial features were relaxed and he looked like an innocent boy. He always looked so hard and focused and now she couldn’t stop looking at him.

 

She realized that their proximity affected her judgment and that she needed to get away from him. She tried to move a little further away from him, but instead he unconsciously put an arm around her and moved closer. "You are cuddling with your kidnapper... " she thought and she tried to get out of his grip.

 

He woke up, flew out of bed when he realized he was holding her.

 

They began to talk at the same time, both apologizing. But what made it worse was when she looked down on his pants and he realized what she was looking at.

 

His entire face went red and he sat down on his own bed and no one dared to say another word.

 

What broke the silence was a knock on the door and she froze. He looked at her and then back at the door, waiting for the one at the door to say something. One more knock and he gently got up and looked out behind the curtain.

 

"Cleaning!" Said a woman with an foreign accent.

 

She was just about to open her mouth when he threw himself over her on the bed and held her mouth.

 

"No thanks !!!" He shouted back to the woman. He waited until he heard she was gone when he took away his hand.

 

"You are crushing me!!" She managed to get out. But he didn’t move he just stared at her.

 

The tense atmosphere was so high that if someone went into the room it would explode.

 

"What were you going to say??"

 

" I didn’t say anything...."

 

"No, because I stopped ye !!!"

 

"Can you really blame me?" She shouted back and just like that they were hostage and kidnapper again.

 

~

 

"What are you doing Jamie?" He thought as he walked back and forth in the small area between the bed and the door.

 

Of fear that she might get sick, he had got into her bed , then accidentally fell asleep next to her and woke up holding her and when he realized what he was doing he was standing up with an obvious eraction. When the cleaning lady had arrived and claire was going to scream for help, he realized how easily he lost control around her.

 

He knew he was becoming emotionally engaged, losing his focus and that his job was to keep her quiet and hidden. So he did what he really didn’t want to do. He put her in the bathtub and closed the door.

 

He wanted to open the door every five minutes, but he knew better and let it stay shut.

 

He watched the clock, 09.04. She had been sitting there for an hour and he had been sitting with his back against the door for the past half hour and wanted to let her out.

 

"Are you hungry?" He asked but she didn’t answer. Fear began to creep up so he opened the door.

 

Claire sat on the cold bathroom floor next to the bathtub and she was shaking. In his anger he had become so warm that he lowered the heat again. He had forgotten that she actually hadn’t any clothes on and those she owned was hanging wet.

 

He rushed to her and carried her up and carried her the bed, This time he was under her covers with her.

 

"I'm so sorry, I did not think .. how are you?" He whispered so low that he did not know if she heard him.

 

"I'm so cold." He moved closer so that they lay tight against each other. All his logical thoughts shouted that he was once again emotionally involved, but he ignored it.

 

"I need to think of something other than how much I'm freezing, you have to distract me ..."

 

He tried to think of something and before he knew it he was talking about his family. That his father had recently died and his mother soon after that. That his mom probably died of heartache after the loss of his father. He told her everything about his home and how much he longed for it and that he would miss it when he left the country. He told her about his sister how he was ashamed that he was leaving her all alone. When Claire  stopped shaking and she calmed down, he realized that he had told his entire life to the woman, who easily could put him in prison.

He didn’t meant to tell her everything and when he felt that she was touching his face, he realized he was crying.

 

"You're a terribly kidnapper," she whispered and he started laughing.

 

"Aye, I don’t know what it is but as soon as I am near you... I seem to forget who I am." He dared not to look at her after his confession.

 

"And who are you?

 

"Jamie."


	7. Chapter 7

In the arms of her kidnapper, struggling against the cold she had managed to find peace. When he told her about his life, she had forgotten who he was and who she was. His home sounded like a magical  place, and she almost cried when he told her about his family.

 

Somewhere, she slowly began to forget that her goal was to escape from this man. Being in his arms longer felt like the arms of a stranger and she felt safe there, in a weird inappropriate way.

 

Before he told her his name, he said there was something about her that made him forget who he was and she couldn’t deny that he did something with her too. Being in his presence made her stronger, more confident. Old Claire had never dared try the things she had doneknowing that she could die trying.

 

When Jamie told her his real name, everything changed, as if he allowed her to get to know him. They talked for hours and it was as if they had known each other for years. She began to think "In less than two days, you have managed to share this bed with him, and you have not even thought about Frank."

 

He seemed to notice her being absent. "Claire, I'm really sorry that it is like this ... I'd love nothing more to let you out of here if I thought it was the best solution, but you don’t  know what my uncle is capable of. If he thinks you've escaped and intend to tell the police about us, he will not hesitate to hunt you down and kill you. "

 

"But what prevents him from doing it anyway?"

 

"I promise I will keep you safe. I pulled you into this mess and I'll make sure you get home safely... to Frank. "She shrugged when he said Frank's name and then again realized that she was in bed with Jamie and that she was warm again and he really didn’t  have to stay. So she sat up and was about to leave the bed.

 

"I wish we had met in another life and at another place Claire."

 

~

 

He regret himself immediately when he said it, but he meant it. He wanted for the first time in his life that he wasn’t  a criminal and that in a few days he would leave Scotland to a country where he would never see her again. He had crossed all the lines in every possible way, and the only thing he thought was that she could never be his, she was Franks.

 

Claire got up to enter the bathroom when she stopped, with her back still against him. His heart stopped when she said "I wish that too Jamie ..."and then she closed the door.

 

He remained on her bed and he could not decide if he should move. "What do you think? That she wants you? She just said that if it had been different maybe it would have been an option... she's your hostage and she's got a boyfriend "his better judgment won and he went to his own bed and he plugged in the phone he had hid from her.

 

He didnt even realize how long it was since they ate so he called to the front desk and he asked them to send food. After the cleaning lady incident he was convinced she would not shout for help if someone came and brought food. He had explained to her that her best chance of getting through this was to stay with him.

 

The food came before she got out of the bathroom. He had heard her put on the shower and when she came out she had put on her old clothes.

 

They ate in silence, nobody seemed to know what they would say after their last conversation. He wanted her to start talking about anything.

 

But when she spoke, that was not the direction he had thought. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

 

"No, not always the easiest in my profession."

 

"So there is no sidekick? No Robin to Batman? "

 

"Haha no there is no Robin."

 

"What are you going to do with all the money then Jamie?"

 

"Start over..."

 

"I would ask where but I understand if you do not want to tell me .."

 

"I have not decided yet but somewhere where they do not have extradition agreements."

 

"I've heard that Costa Rica has no extradition agreement, it's beautiful there."

 

"I’ll keep it in mind haha."

 

The ice was broken again and he left out the detail about Laoghaire, that was Alexander Malcolm's girl not Jamies.

 

All he wanted to do was be back in her bed again. Their forced intimacy that wasshared before had switched to something else as both of them knew she was warm enough. She just got up when he reminded her that he would return her to Frank.

 

Frank a person who did not seem to understand what he had, who did not appreciate Claire enough to want to her to be his only priority. A man who would rather spend his time and energy in his work instead of being with her. Only God knew that if she were his he would have liked to be with her every awake second.

 

He had never met a woman like her and he was sad that they had a little more than 24 hours left before the others arrived.

 

When the night came, they went to bed and laying in their separate beds. In the dark he tried to sleep. But with her closeness and knowledge that he was going to leave tomorrow. It was like him unconscious wanted to stay awake so he got more time to be where she was.

 

"Jamie? Are you awake?"

 

"Aye."

 

"I'm cold again ....."


	8. Chapter 8

When she said, it was quiet for a long time, then there was a lot of rustling from the sheets, footsteps, and when he crept down under her blankets, her heart beat so fast that he had to hear it, but he said nothing.

 

She knows that she had felt drawn to him from the first moment he jumped out of the car at the warehouse and she saw his face and no matter how dark their situation was, she wanted nothing but him right now.

 

They lay close with their faces to each other and she knew he was waiting for her to take the first step, what ever what would happen was her choice.

 

She close her eyes, licked her lips and tried to ignore the fact that she had not brush her teeth for several days and her lips meet his.

 

Their first kiss was more than she had experienced throughout her life. When she had taken the step there was no return.

 

She kissed him again and their tongues moved together, tasted each other and a fire lit in her when she felt him against her

 

He still seemed insecure and did not seem to know how far she was willing to go so she sat up and pulled off her shirt and snapped off bra.

 

His hands gently touched her chest, every movement he drew made her nipples harder as if he were the remote how her body would behave. As if her body was no longer hers.

 

"Jamie .."

 

~

 

Hearing her moan out his name was more than he managed.

 

He pulled off his clothes and then he was over her and continued kissing her mouth, neck and chest. His tongue moved gently down over her body.

 

He looked up when he came to her panties, maybe in confirmation, but her eyes said everything he needed to know.

 

He could feel the smell of both the soap and the deeper smell that was only her. He breathed in deeply as he circulated one finger, teasing her.

 

She spread her legs to encourage him and he tasted her for the first time and his tongue slowly moved to learn what she liked. As she grabbed his hair to push him closer and with two fingers inside, he began to press harder.

 

He felt the heat and wrapped his fingers and how he slowly penetrated deeper into her. Her hips moved up and down as he tasted and licked her.

 

It was something very special to feel Claire's pleasure when he lay restrained between her legs and his cock reacted more and more when she started moaning his name again. The feeling she just gave him by breathing was more than he ever experienced.

 

His excitement was almost painful, but it was not about the reward that was awaiting later, to come. But to gradually build her from moaning to screaming. His new goal in life was to make her remember this night for the rest of her life.

 

"Harder Jamie," she whispered.

 

He twisted his tongue at an almost inhumane pace.

 

Finally, the echo of her scream was heard through the room, accompanied by the sounds of his fingers who slid back and forth inside her.

 

Her hand grabbed his hair once more hard and pulled his face harder against her as she came and he felt how her thighs started shaking in spasms and when he looked up she was perfect, her eyes completely foggy and her face pink and her smile sent shivers along his spinal.

 

It might be the forbidden situation, that created the dynamic attraction between them but he had never felt more alive.

 

He could hardly believe this was happening. Nothing in his life had prepared him for this and it had happened so quickly and when she pulled him back and climbed over him.

 

She seemed to want to give him the same treatment and when her tongue started playing with the root of his cock, he was almost afraid he would come in her face when she licked some more.

 

He began to shut his eyes and tried to think of something else, not to come too fast, but the only thing he saw was her body, she was everywhere. His brain replayed when she had come and how he felt when she hugged his fingers during her orgasm.

 

"Claire, I can not handle this!"

 

She stopped and tried to see if he meant he could not finish what they had begun, but he pulled her up against his lips, kissed her and assured her he didn’t want to stop and he pulled her on her back. They stared at each other before she started grabbing his back and pushing him against her.

 

It was wet, tight, and he could not help but fuck her harder. He had no self-control, he needed to get deeper into her and with a leg over his shoulder he pumped faster and harder.

 

He wanted nothing more than she would come again, he needed to feel how it felt when he was inside her.

 

Something primitiv came over him and he pulled out and turned her on all four, pushed towards her hard, he grabbed a Brest in one hand and her hips with the other.

 

He heard when she once again began to scream out his name, Her hand took hold of the bedside to hold on and he knew he could no longer hold back.

 

"Claire .." was the last thing he said when he filled her.

 

It may be seconds, minutes or hours but when she was in his arms, nothing left existed around them

 

Until the morning came and a hard knock on the door and Angus's voice.

 

"Mac Dubh !!"

 

He threw himself out of bed and woke up Claire.

 

"You have to get dressed and hide in the bathroom now !!"


	9. Chapter 9

He swore when he realized that the others were outside the door. In their own world, he had forgotten everything.

 

"Mac Dubh, where is the Sassench?"

 

"The bathroom ..."

 

"Where are the others?"

 

Dougal is waiting at the meeting place. He sent me to pick you up. Has she said anything? Perhaps we need to make sure she'll really be quiet !? "

 

"No nothing." He stood so he blocked the bathroom door.

 

"Come on Mac Dubh, let me come in."

 

He tried to come up a good reason why Angus could not get past. He decided that he had to pretend she was no one special, he needed to distance himself from their night together, he did not want to give them more reasons to kill her.

 

"Believe me, there's nothing to have. Seems like we got an loose moral hostage, trust me once was enough for me.. "

 

Angus wiggle his eyebrows and licked his lips. "Well a Sassenach whore, maybe I'll get my chance later."

 

He breathed out when Angus seemed to let go of the subject.

 

He knocked on the door "Sassenach !! We need to go now !! "

 

Claire came out of the room fully dressed and looked down into the ground, she must have heard what they said and she looked really sad. He hoped she understood that he behaved like this to protect her.

 

He looked back when she sat in the back seat and she looked out the window. In the car with Angus and Claire he sat silently and drove while Angus babbled.

He was usually a man he thought was funny but of all the things he said, every insulting word he said about her and referred her to Sassenach whore, he had to force himself not to strangle him. But he needed to play along.

 

"Have you called Laoghaire?"

 

"Not yet."

 

"She's a real woman, you're lucky man Mac Dubh!"

 

He wanted to scream and say that Laoghaire was not a real woman at all, but a spoiled child. He wanted Claire to understand that she did not mean anything but he didn’t want to argue in the car to make Angus suspicious.

 

Based on how Claire did not even want to look at him maybe it was for the best. They would have to leave each other in 24 hours.

 

When they meet Dougal and the others, Angus immediately began to talk about that Mac Dubh had taken the Sassenach. All the men looked at Claire laughing and when she looked like she was about to cry, he wanted to die. He grabbed her arm to pull her further away from the others to talk to her but the shock he got when she shouted. "Do not touch me Jamie."

 

"Why does she know your name?" Dougal said and began to walk against them.

 

He never thought she would be so stupid that she would risk her life showing that she knew his real name.

 

~

 

She had never felt so stupid when she heard Jamie talk about her with Angus.

"Of course he just played you... he just wanted to fuck you ... you're so damn naive Claire." She wanted to cry and sink into the ground. The reality kicked in when she realized she had seduced her own kidnapper and thought it meant something.

 

When they were in the car and she heard them talking about this Laoghaire ... "Of course he has someone .. all he said was lies to trick you." The more Angus referred her as a whore, she became more angry.

 

This was not her, she had a great job and respectable life and Frank. God she had been cheating on Frank with a man who threatened, kidnapped and exploited her.

 

The longer they went, the more angry she became.

 

When Dougal came against her she knew her mistake. In her anger when Jamie touched her, she had revealed that she knew his name.

 

When she thought she would probably  die, Jamie stepped in front of her and said "I accidentally told her, she will not say anything Dougal, she knows her place."

 

She should be quiet but she seemed to be losing it.

 

"It must have been somewhere in the middle when you fucked the Sassenach whore you said it!!!" she shouted and backed away from him.

 

"Jamie, how can you be so irresponsible and stupid?"

 

"I regret it Dougal, every second." His words made her cry and she wanted to die.

 

They put her far away from them next to a tree with her hands tied up. She heard a few words from Jamie and most were that he was bored when he looked after her. All he said was the opposite of what he said before. She was so ashamed that she thought they just could shoot her. She no longer cared.

 

When all the men seemed to be done with what they were doing, everyone gathered around her.

 

"Sassenach, you will go with Jamie, when we get back, he will leave you 4 miles from here and then we will be gone. Do not forget that I know exactly where you live and work. If we hear you have gone to the police or say something, I will come back and no one will be able to save you. "

 

"If I have something to say, I don’t want Jamie to drive me, anyone else and I promise I will not say a word, I never want to see any of you again. You have my word. "

 

"Okay, Murtagh, you take her. Everyone let’s go. "

 

~

 

He had been standing for an hour trying to convince the others that he should take Claire and watch her until they were done . They wanted Rubert to do it, but he continued to insist that he should do it and when they finally agreed, she refused. She actually said anyone but him and she would stay quiet..

 

He tried to look at her, make her see him, he wanted her to see what his eyes were saying, that he was the same man from a few hours ago. How could she already forget everything he said to her.

 

Nothing he did after it could erase his recognition how much he wanted her. She needed to see the truth.

 

He wanted to scream at her when Dougal started pulling him against the car, it was over.

 

Dougal had planned everything, where they would wait and when they would get in. Jamie had been the one who fixed all the information they needed but it was Dougal who was in charge. He tried to listen what everyone was saying but he could not stop looking back and see the other car with Claire, driving further away. When he no longer saw the car, he knew he would never see her again.


	10. Chapter 10

After the first hour with Murtagh she was already bored. She had asked if he could at least turn on the radio, but he just muddled something and looked away.

 

She sat thinking about what she would do when she got home, what everyone would say. She was interrupted by her thoughts when Murtagh talked for the first time after a couple of hours

 

"You know, Jamie is my godson! I do not know what was going on between you at the hotel but I can guarantee that what he said was not the truth. I've known that boy all his life and never heard him talk about somebody like that. "

 

"Should I feel flattered that I'm the first one he insulted? "

 

"You aren’t really acting like a scared hostage anymore lass.. I think he behaved badly for your sake ... "

 

"Why would I want that?"

 

"You know.. Nothing tells the truth better than a wounded woman and your face gives you away."

 

"What ever happened, I'm over it! I just want to go home. "

 

She really did not want to talk about this anymore with this strange old man. He may know Jamie but she didn’t want to. She wanted to get back to her life, she wanted to go home and forget this.

 

"When are they done?"

 

"Dougal will call and then I'll let you go... I'm aiming for a few more hours."

 

 

~

 

To be one of Scotland's largest banks, their security level was very low. So low he even started to suspect something was wrong. But he had been studying the bank for several months and he was absolutely sure that his information had been right.

 

Willie who was an expert on hacking  computers had turned off the alarm and the surveillance cameras from outside of the car.

 

Dougal was going to take care of the security guards, Angus would keep guard and Jamie would enter the vault  with Rupert. This time they were not looking forthe cash but a specific bank deposit.

 

Clarence Marylebone, the Duke of Sandringham, had a compartment of jewels that was significantly more valuable and easier to take quickly before anyone noticed that they even been there. Their plan had been waterproof.

 

He had just come inside the vault when he heard a shot from the top floor, he hurried to open it and Rubert stood nervously nextto him looking toward the door.

 

"Mac Dubh hurry up, if they are shooting it's not long before the police arrive."

 

They just managed to get in the car and drive away when they heard the sirens of the first police cars.

 

"What the hell happen?" Screamed Jamie after a while.

 

"There were more security guards we didn’t know about so I shot them ..." Dougal answered and continued driving

 

"Oh christ !! Are they going to survive? "

 

"They will not talk any more ..."

 

The panic that they left behind two dead guards began to build in him. They had never killed anyone in a job before. Getting busted for robbery was one thing but getting charged for murder. This was worse than he ever could imagine. He needed to leave Scotland now.

 

~

 

Murtagh had a phone call , released her and left her alone at the side of the road. She didn’t know where she was so she just started walking until a nice woman stayed and offered her a ride.

 

Adso sat kindly and waited outside the apartment, her absence didn’t seemed to have affected him very much. The extra key remained under the carpet and when she stepped in, her home looked exactly as when she left it, but she didn’t feel like herself anymore.

 

She listened to her voicemails and two were from Frank, the first said he would go away for a few days and the other that he found a new finding that it would take a couple of days more.

 

She had been away for several days and he had not noticed anything.

 

During her irritation she jumped when it knocked on the door. At first she was terrified, but when she looked, she saw a man who holding up his police badge.

 

He presented himself as John Gray, He told her that they watched the surveillance’s tape and saw that she had been taken by the robbers and without any family, they had not had anyone to contact so they put a man outside watching her apartment after the robbery hoping she might appear.

 

"So detective Gray, you think I'm involved in the bank robbery?"

 

"Miss Beauchamp, you claim that you spent several days with these men and you have no idea how they look or who they were? you do not look particularly traumatized for being blindfolded for several days with strangers, you must see my side of the case that it looks more like you have been an insider source than a hostage .... "

 

"I know nothing about the perpetrators and do not know why they let me go ... I'm glad I'm alive and home."

 

"Why did not you contact the police?"

 

"They said if I talked, they would kill me."

 

"Strange that they threaten to kill someone who has not seen or heard anything."

 

When John Gray finally left her apartment she could breathe out. He had told her that their last robbery Had ended with a dead guard and one struggling for his life in the hospital.

 

She threw her clothes in the trash and tried to shower off the last few days. Once inside the shower, she could see the marks on her body that were a living proof of her and Jamie's night together. She started scrubbing hoping to scrub him away.

 

On Tv that were all the news channels talked about, how a group of unknown men lay behind several series of bank robberies and at the last one they had killed a guard and come over valuables items summed over 24 million. The surviving guard had given a statement that his shooter was masked but that the man was over 190 long.

 

Her first thought was Jamie, but he was as tall as his uncle. Somewhere she could not believe that the man from the hotel could shoot someone but after all that happened, she realized that she didn’t really know him and with his manipulative personality he managed to fool her once.

 

She turned off the TV and lay down on the sofa. She began to think of what John Gray had said, if he really thought she was involved in the robbery, then maybe he would not stop watching her. Not that he would discover something suspicious, she was innocent after all.

 

But her other problem was Frank. What would she even say? Would she pretend everything was normal or would she tell him what had happened? Anyway, she had to call him. "Frank will not forgive you," she thought, deciding not to call right now. She would wait until he came home and tell him everything, besides the little detail about Mac Dubh.

 

She woke up in the middle of the night by a loud sound coming from the living room. Cautiously she slipped out and took a pen that was on the nightstand as a weapon. In the dark she could see a big figure on the floor and when she turned on the lights she became angry.

 

"Jamie?"


	11. Chapter 11

"I said what the hell are you doing here Jamie?"

 

Jamie was still lying on the floor and in view of his position, he must have missed the little table when he climbed in front of the window. The table was completely destroyed and he was holding his arm around his stomach in pain.

 

"I did not know where else to go"

 

"So you chose to break into my apartment?"

 

"Dougal shot the guards and when we split into two cars we were chased. The police seemed to know exactly where we were headed and had blocked the road. Me and Murtagh were in one car and the rest in the other car but the police just chased us. "

 

"How did you get away?"

 

"Murtagh pushed me out of the car and the police drove after him while I was in the ditch."

 

"Still does not explain why you are here? Have I not been through enough because of you? I want you to leave now!! "

 

"Claire, I needed to come here and tell you that I treated you so... so the others wouldn’t suspect something, I did not mean it. I was afraid that if they knew they might hurt you. "

 

"Knew what?"

 

"That I wanted you more than I have ever wanted someone in my whole life."

 

"I lost my mind in that room Jamie. It meant nothing. And with the policeman sitting down there, you should probably take the same way you came. "She tried to look as nonchalantly as she could, but she knew she was lying.

 

He approached her and with his size, it felt like her apartment shrank and she became claustrophobic and stuck to the wall she had backed in.

 

"So your saying you don’t feel the same Claire?"

 

"I don’t.. I have Frank"

 

He stood as close as he could without touching her and she tried to push herself against the wall as much as she could.

 

"Claire, I'm probably wanted for murder, a crime I didn’t do and instead of being on the run, I'm here."

 

"What do you want from me?"

 

"Come with me Claire .. we can go wherever you want!"

 

"Should I run away with the man who kidnapped me? It's crazy! "

 

"I can kidnap you again if it helps, so can you pretend you did not want to come along, but I see you want to. You can’t lie to me and say that our night did not mean anything.”

 

She became annoyed that he could read her so easily but a knock on the door interrupted them

 

"Miss Beauchamp ?? Is everything okay? It's detective Gray. "

 

"Fuck... Jamie hide" She whispered as she realized she was standing half naked and ran to get a robe.

 

She opened the door and John Gray quickly entered the apartment. He looked around and saw the broken table. "What happened?"

 

"I was going to the kitchen to drink some water and my cat scared me so I fell..."

 

"You do not seem to weigh so much that you could break a table..."

 

"Excuse me Detective Gray but I have no desire to stand here discussing my weight in the middle of the night. Everything is alright, I want you to go now. "

 

" I'll be outside if there's anything. "

 

She rushed into the bedroom to Jamie, If John Gray had wanted to look through the apartment, it would not have been hard to find Jamie. With only one bed and a night table in the bedroom, there were not really any hiding places. "He is gone" she dared not talk so loudly if Gray stayed just outside the door so she whispered and she told him about John Gray, that he saw her on surveillance cameras and thought she was on the coup against the bank.

 

"I'm so sorry Claire ... I shouldn’t have come here. If they see me, it will confirm their suspicion and believe you have lied and they will think you were involved. I'm going now, I don’t know what I was thinking. "

 

"Wait..."

 

He had already reached the bedroom door and turned around.

 

"You may have to wait until tomorrow.. Then I can go outside so maybe they follow me instead. Then you can sneak out without anyone seeing you ... "

 

"Would you do that for me?"

 

"I have to be crazy but yes ... plus I think he's standing outside my front-door, so if he hears you snoring on the couch...you can’t leave the bedroom"

 

His smile went up to the ears "So I'll sleep in here with you?"

 

She felt that she was completely red in her face when she realized that she had suggested that he share a room with her.

 

"You can sleep on the floor .."

 

~

 

He stared at the ceiling, he had a little pain in his ribs after he fell on her table. But he did not know if his pain was due to the fall or because his love declaration had not gone as he intended. He knew there was a small chance. Why would she want to give up her life with Frank for a life on the run with him.

 

"I think my uncle is trying to set me up ..."

 

"Why do you think that?"

 

"After we split up, the police found us to fast. I think he told them where we were while the others went somewhere else. "

 

She looked down from the edge of the bed above to look at him. "So you think he's trying to make it look like you shot the guards?"

 

"Aye, I could not understand why I would change car suddenly. But now I do.."

 

"Where's the money then?"

 

"Dougal has it... "

 

"How will you escape without it?"

 

"I have some money from the other jobs, but it does not help if they put me in prison for murder."

 

"So you risked everything to come here?”

 

"I may be the criminal but you stole my heart Claire, but I'll let you keep it when I leave tomorrow..."

 

"I do not know what to say Jamie .." she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

 

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."

 

He could at least leave her apartment tomorrow with the knowledge that she knew that he would never feel like this for anyone other than her. As long as he lived he would love Claire Beauchamp.


	12. Chapter 12

As she woke up, she struggled with the feeling she felt about Jamie. Only two hours left until he would be out of her life forever. "Was not that what you wanted? That he would go and you would return to you old life with Frank? "

 

Frank, the man who said he loved her but not enough to even discover that she had disappeared. If they had killed her, how long had it taken before he discovered it? Days? Months?

 

Below her bed lay a man who was a stranger yet admitted that he loved her. That their evening had made such an impact on him that he needed to explain his feelings and ask her to go with him, with the knowledge that he could get caught doing so.

 

She did not know Jamie and he was still a criminal man who was wanted by the police. Downstairs down the street was a man who wanted to catch Jamie at all costs, and she would only help him get away she would leave the apartment and let him go.

 

After all, she had her life and she was not prepared to give it up for a man she did not know.

 

She looked down on the floor on the sleeping man who looked so peaceful and the idea of accompanying him slowly slipped through her mind.

 

As if he could feel her looking at him, he opened his eyes, it felt like he was staring into her soul, straight into a place where no one ever had been.

 

"I think it's safe for you to go now" she whispered and saw his disappointment that she had not changed her mind.

 

"Aye .."

 

She sneaked to the door to see that John Gray was not hiding behind the door, but the hall was empty.

 

Once back in the bedroom it was an embarrassing tension. Both knew it was time to say goodbye and nobody seemed to start.

 

"Well, I wish you good luck."

 

"Aye, thank you and forgive me Claire, for everything. And I hope you live a happy life. "He looked down to the floor and did not seem to know what he would do. She walked forward and surprised herself when she hugged him and whispered "Goodbye Jamie" then she turned around and left the apartment without looking back.

 

She saw John Gray almost immediately in the front seat of a black SUV. She tried to look ignorant and began to walk down the street. As she crossed to the other street, she saw that the car started driving away from her apartment and she hoped Jamie would get out unseen.

 

She did not really know where she was going, She got on a bus and went as far as she could, then she jumped off and wandered and looked through different windows. She got stuck in front of a small furniture store and looked at a beautiful blue vase.

 

It began to remind her of her life, How she had never hesitated to buy it before and place in her home, while she had now looked at the vase and saw what it represented, a hollow and superficial life. She might not be able to escape with Jamie but she would no longer live the life she had before.

 

The vase inspired her to follow her dreams and also showed that she would not be content. She no longer wanted her dull job, she did not want to live anymore with a man who did not see her.

 

When she was sure Jamie had get out of the apartment, she began to walk back.

 

She would go home, quit her job and she would call Frank.

 

~

 

He did not know where to go or how to find out if Murtagh was okay but he needed to leave her apartment.

 

He waited exactly an hour after she left and while he waited, he looked around in her apartment. He saw pictures in the kitchen that he assumed was on Claire and her parents, she was little in the picture so it must have been one of the last pictures they took before their accident.

 

A picture of Claire laughing and with a fish in her hand.

 

A picture of her with a dark-haired man, he shook his head irritated when he realized that it must have been Frank. He studied his face and could not stop thinking about that Frank looked straight into the camera while Claire looked lovingly at Frank.

 

He had done anything to be in that picture with her and many more filled with different memories together.

 

He did not want to risk if the police were still in front of her apartment so he was going out of the window he entered. He took a last look at the apartment and took the picture at Claire with him.

 

He had hid his bag before climbing into her apartment the day before. It contained some cash and his phone.

 

He had two missed messages from Dougal and one from Murtagh.

 

"Jamie, where are you?" "We're with Murtagh so come and meet us at the warehouse."

 

And the message from Murtagh was short.

"Jamie run"

 

The message of his godfather confirmed his fears about his uncle and the pain of leaving his godfather behind him left a hole inside him.

 

The money would definitely not last far and as desperate as he was, he wondered if he needed to make a small job alone to get enough money to leave Scotland.

 

He found a car on an empty parking-lot and hot wire it. He needed to get as far away from Claire and detective Gray he could. He needed to make sure no one could connect him to her.

 

He drove without a real destination when his phone started calling. He ignored the call when he saw his uncle's name light up.

 

~

 

The apartment looked the same as it did when she walked out. She called the bank while she began to make coffee. The bank director had not protested when she said she wanted to quit. Probably relieved of losing her in view of John Grey's investigation of her.

 

She did not get to talk to Frank without his secretary, telling her that Mr Randall would be back in the afternoon and had said that he do wanted to be disturbed until then.

 

She tried to convince herself that she would leave Frank because they no longer had a good relationship and that he worked too much. But basically she knew she left Frank because it was obvious that she did not love him anymore. She had never slept with a stranger in a hotel room if she loved Frank.

 

She was still not sure if it was the sexual attraction she and Jamie had or the adrenaline to do the forbidden act of something she shouldn’t do, but she knew that she did not even felt half of that feeling with Frank ever.

 

With respect for their past, she would tell him everything that has happened, perhaps the fact of her infidelity would make him agree that they should separate.

 

She had sent a message to his secretary that he should come home to her when he was ready. So when it knocked on the door, she was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 2 chapter I upload today so you know...

"Sometimes when you're in a dark place, you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted to grow."

 

 

 

Her conversation with Frank did not go as she had thought. He had first been upset that she had not called and told him about her terrible experience. Then he had become angry when she told him that she had been cheating and wanted to leave him. He was not angry with the infidelity, but the part that she wanted to leave him.

 

He tried to convince her that her night with Jamie did not sound like something she would do so it must have been rape. He claimed that she was traumatized by the whole event and needed help.

 

"Frank!!! You are not listening! Whatever I've gone through, the outcome is the same, I want to be alone for a while and find out who I am "

 

"So you are leaving me for him? Claire I can change, please do not do this ..”

 

"I love you Frank but it does not feel like it's enough."

 

He begged and cried at her feet until his sadness became angry and he left her apartment with the promise that he would make sure Jamie would regret what he had done. Frank would go to the police and tell them what she just told him. He was still convinced that she was traumatized and when she realized that, she would come back to him.

 

 

She had not thought that Frank could go to the police, she had even revealed almost all the names of the men. But the hardest thing was that she revealed Jamie's.

 

The fear of what would happen if Dougal discovered that she had talked began to creep in. Imagine if he would come to her apartment and kill her now.

 

Whether John Gray sat outside her apartment, Jamie had come in without his knowledge and if Jamie could, Dougal could do that to.

 

With no job, no Frank and no family who held her back, she would be able to move without anyone who would notice it. She just had to get past John Gray.

 

She packed a big bag with the most necessary, she went to the kitchen to pick up the image of herself and her parents. It was taken a year before they died and was the only picture she had left of them. She noticed that the picture from her and Frank's trip was missing, the one when she held her first fish she caught that trip. She was sure it would be there too.

 

When she had packed, she went over to her neighbor, Mrs Fitz. She lied and told her she was going on holiday and had to leave Adso with her and promised that she would come back soon to pick him up.

 

She cried after Mrs Fitz gratefully received him. She certainly did not know if she could come back but she would not be able to bring him.

 

After Mrs Fitz husband died she was desperate for company and she knew that Adso would be treated like a king.

 

As she looked down from the window, she could not understand how Jamie got up. She lived on the second floor but it looked significantly higher up when she stood at the edge and was trying to get down.

 

She felt terrible when she stood in front of Mrs Fitz's car, she had snatched her car keys when she wasn’t looking. She did not want to take her own car and at sometime Mrs Fitz's car would be found and return to her.

 

She had to get away, she didn’t dared to stay for a minute if Dougal and his men were to appear at her door.

 

She drove for 3 hours and when she no longer could drive, she stopped at a small Bed & Breakfast.

 

She laughed a bit at herself when she checked in under the fake name Claire Malcolm.

 

Inside her room, she even began to question her mental health. She might have exaggerated a bit when she packed her things and left her own home. "God you jumped out of the window haha."

 

But she wanted to start over and whether Dougal would look for her she wanted to go.

 

~

 

What caused him to stay was when he started to get pictures sent to his phone. First came pictures on a bloody Murtagh then there were pictures of a bloody man he did not first recognize. "Frank" he could not understand why they sent pictures on Frank.

 

"If you do not want the next picture to be on Claire, you will come here now. We are at Sweeney Motors .. "

 

The horror when he realized that they probably took Frank because he was also in the apartment, when they were looking for Claire.

 

He did not know why Dougal wanted him there but all he thought of when he turned the car was Claire and Murtagh. They could not hurt Claire.

 

When he arrived, he rushed out of the car and into the workshop. They used it as one of their hiding places.

 

He search for Claire but was met by Rupert. Then everything became dark ...

 

He felt an extremely amount of pain in his head, sure it was from the punch he received from Rupert. He was trying to get up when he got eye contact with Murtagh "Your big fool !!! Did I not tell you to run ?? Why did you come back? "

 

"Dougal sent pictures on you and.." he looked around the room and saw Frank. Frank eyes showed that he knew exactly who Jamie was.

 

"Where's Claire?" he said when he realized she was not in the room with them.

 

"Not here ... I went to her apartment and she was gone. Her neighbor said she was going on vacation. "Frank answered bitterly.

 

He breathed out, Claire was safe ....


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter today... oooops

She enjoyed her little room she rented. She could not remember when she had time to lie and read a book or last time she took a real holiday.

 

She was going to stay at the B & B until she knew where to go next. She was thinking of England where she had been born. But it seemed as sad and cold as Scotland. After her parents died, she had moved to her uncle in Scotland and hadlived there since.

 

She did not want to work at a bank again, but she had never really done anything else. She had always loved plants and flowers but never really knew she could do a career on it. But this new Claire might be able to become a florist she thought.

 

Had she grown up on a large farm like the one Jamie had told her about, she might have had her own garden to take care of.

 

The thought of Jamie made her wonder if he left the country yet, wherever he could be, maybe he took her advice and went to Costa Rica.

 

She should have hated him after all he forced her to go through, but all she thought of Jamie was anything but hatred. She began to think about their last meeting and what he had said about leaving his heart with her.

 

She started thinking about Frank if he had gone to the police yet and if John Gray had stormed into her apartment to seize and questioned her because she lied.

 

"It does not matter, you're free," she thought, trying to clear the minds of all the men who had been in her head. She would try to focus on her book and then go downstairs and have dinner.

 

She liked being Claire Malcolm, she had been sitting for an hour with another guest and she was really nice. Claire did not have much girlfriends and just sitting and laughing at normal things was refreshing. She only told little things that did not matter so much and when she looked out and discovered what time she was, she thanked the woman for the nice conversation and went up to her room.

 

She turned off the lights and was in bed ready to sleep. She had drunk a little too much and the room was spinning. She sat up and decided to call Frank, just to tell him she was safe.

 

There were several tones, and when she thought about hanging up, he answered, But it wasn’t Frank on the other end.

 

"I said I would find you if you told someone ..."

 

She quickly threw away the phone when she heard Dougals voice and the terror came back. When the phone started ringing again, she dared not answer.

 

She became worried about what had happened to Frank. But her questions were answered quickly by an image of Frank, Murtagh and Jamie. The one looked worse than the other. Everyone almost as bloody.

 

The message after made her more nervous. It was an address to a place called Sweeny Motors.

 

“Come alone... “

 

~

 

Dougal told me he had a friend at the police who had been notified by Mr Frank Randall. He had told the whole story he had heard of Claire. The big problem was not that Frank had told them that Claire had been kidnapped, without the little detail that Dougal was the one who had shot the security guards.

 

Dougal was not worried about the complaint because it had his friend made disappear, but what was the problem were all the witnesses who went around and talked.

 

"I'm not going to get caught like my brother, Colum was not careful and he is living with the consequences, his punishment for talking ..."

 

"So you were the one who got him attacked and paralyzed?"

 

"He was going to talk ..."

 

Dougal would make sure nobody knew about him, according to the world he was an innocent middle-aged man who worked at a bar. No one suspected the nice bartender who took care of his sick wife in the day.

 

He had been living for several years as a criminal man who lived behind the mask of a humble man whom no one believed could hurt a fly.

 

Jamie's mother always warned him of her brother, but Dougal was family, he would not hurt his own family, he always thought.

 

"What now then uncle?"

 

"First, I'll get your little Sassenach here.. her boyfriend told me about your little night. That you ran to her and asked her to come with you ... and with two of her boyfriends here she'll be coming soon enough! "

 

"Then what?"

 

"Then I leave an anonymous tip about a James Fraser, Boyfriend of Laoghaire, the daughter of the owner of the bank we robbed. They will put two and two together.”

 

"So you're going to set me up?"

 

"You will probably be charged for the murder of your partner Murtagh to. They'll think you killed him so he wouldn’t talk ... "

 

"Claire and Frank then?"

 

"No one will ever find them. Take it easy Jamie, you'll have a brighter future than Colum in jail. "

 

After their conversation, Rupert had come and dragged him back into the small room he had woken up in. Jamie was much bigger and stronger, but he was not stupid enough to attack a man who had a gun at his head.

 

"What happens now? Frank said with a much more savior voice.

 

"If you had not been so stupid to go to the police, this would never have happened ..." he wanted to kill Frank himself for what he did.

 

"I did not think .. I was worried about Claire, I wanted to protect her."

 

"And now she's on her way here ... how are you going to save her now? "

 

He sat on the floor with his hands on his face. He wanted to scream and beat something to get rid of the anger he felt towards Frank. But most of all, he was angry with himself, he drew Claire into this. Each time he exposed her to more and more danger. He knew it was not Frank's fault, it was his.

 

"She’s maybe not coming? She might be smart enough to go to the police? "Replied Murtagh who was trying to keep the peace.

 

"Yes, she might call the police," Frank replied.

 

Jamie might not have known Claire for a long time but they shared the same band of loss of loved ones who had died.

 

He knew she would come. She might call the police but she would come and save Frank. The thought of losing one more she loved would take over all common sense. "

 

"She never listened before when she should have been silent, that reckless woman will come here." He whispered.

 

"How do you know that?" Asked a surprised Frank.

 

"I had done everything for the one I loved, even how stupid it was ...."


	15. Chapter 15

Everyone was nervous and waited, no one spoke. Everyone in their own thoughts of what would happen next. He knew that regardless of what happened today he would either die or be taken by the police. What was worst he did not know.

 

Frank looked terrified every time he heard footsteps outside the door. It was almostthat he felt sorry for the man until Frank told him that when he went to the police, he had filed in his allegations that Jamie had raped Claire.

 

Had Murtagh not held him down at that moment it would be a big hole in the wall after Jamie had hit Frank's head against it.

 

"She told me about you..." he was as surprised as Frank when he spoke after their previous conversation.

 

"what did she say then?"

 

"That you have been together for years but that you laid down your heart and soul in your work so you did not see her."

 

"She knows I'm take my profession very seriously and Claire has always been supportedof that..."

 

"Have you supported her? Sometimes it does not help saying that you love someone, you have to show it ... "

 

"I do not know what she has said or who you think you are but I feel her a lot more than you. What ever happened between you wasn’t real" Frank did not seem to like that he questioned their relationship.

 

"I would do anything to know everything about her you take for granted."

 

Frank started to get mad and somewhere it made him feel better. If he could not beat him with his fists, he would beat him with his words. He did not deserve Claire and he was a coward man who put his pride above all.

 

After a while he had even begun to question his own feelings for Claire. He had robbed her bank in his own selfish actions and in his fear of being caught, he had kidnapped her. He had kept her against her will to the extent that their relationship was forced to develop by the proximity they spent locked in that small hotel room. Franks words echo in his head “it wasn’t real...”

 

Regardless of whether he had only spent 4 nights of his 27 years of his life with her in that room, he fell in love with her. Nothing else was more real then that.

 

But he realized he had done far worse things against her than Frank. Frank's only mistake was that he prioritized his job before her while Jamie had forced himself into her life and destroyed it.

 

He did not deserve her either ...

 

But he would do all he could to save Claire from the awful fate that awaited them, he would even save Frank for her sake. "Even though he's a stuffed pig," he thought.

 

When the door opened, Rupert came in again, looking anxious and uncertain.

 

"Dougal wants me to shoot Murtagh ... I do not want this"

 

"Rupert, you don’t have to do this. You can let us go. You are better than anyone else out there. Do not do it"

 

"Jamie ..."

 

"No!!!" Jamie screamed.

 

 

"A shot was fired"

 

 

~

 

She did not have much of a plan. After Dougal's message, she had jumped straight into the car and drove back. Adrenaline increased every mile she approached her destination.

 

She wanted to laugh when the radio started playing Wicked Games and Chris Isaks voice came loudly out of the speakers.

 

"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do”

 

When the GPS showed that she had 10 minutes left for the chosen destination, she wondered if she should call Detective Gray

 

She parked far away and in the dark she saw the green brick house and "Sweeney Motors" was written over the entrance.

 

She was unarmed, she swore that she did not even think she needed something to protect herself with. She knew well enough about what kind of weapons Dougal and the others had.

 

"There's no return now Claire .." she whispered to herself to give her the courage to go inside.

 

She opened the door carefully and walked in. It seemed to be a regular car workshop. The first room was full of parts and tools but no mechanics that she could see.

 

As she walked in, she came to a long hall, reminding her of the same hall she met Dougal for the first time, and she got a shiver down her spine.

 

Low voices were heard and she felt worried about who she would encounter first.

 

If she was lucky, maybe she could find Frank and Jamie before Dougal found her.

 

The whole situation began to feel bizarre, here she was sneaky in the dark and was trying to save her ex boyfriend and ex-kidnappers from a criminal psychopath that would probably shoot her.

 

A scream scared her, she stopped and listened.

 

Another scream.

 

"Jamie" she started running against the scream and when he saw him lying down in a puddle of blood on the floor, she reacted without thinking.

 

She threw herself over him and spread out like a shield over his body.

 

She looked up and was met by an extremely shocked man. She had seen him before but did not know his name. He held a hammer over his head in a position ready to hit again.

 

He started screaming at her but she buried her head against Jamie's and tried to protect them with her arms.

 

She Waited for the strike to come.

 

Jamie seemed to have taken a blow to many because he did not do much to protect himself anymore. He seemed unaware that there was even someone on him.

 

She kept waiting, but when she raised her head, she got an eye contact with Frank, he was sitting in the corner. She had become so scared when she saw Jamie on the ground that she did not notice her surroundings.

 

His eyes were big, probably surprised by her action to use her own body to protect Jamie.

 

She was still watching Frank when her arms was dragged away from Jamie.

 

She felt one of the men from behind who held her hard with his arm around her neck, Jamie remained unconscious on the ground, but he seemed to breathe. She tried to se where the blood came from.

 

Then everything became black.

 

She woke up in a dark room on the floor. Wondering how long she been unconscious.

 

Someone lay beside her, she tried to feel who it was, but what made one stop was how hard and stiff the person was. She touched his face, ice cold.

 

"Dead"

 

 

She flew from the dead body and screamed . She tried to see if there was a door but it was too dark.

 

The panic that someone was dead at her feet caused her stomach to turn and she started to vomit.

 

She continued to shout for help and shut her eyes.

 

When someone finally opened the door she flew out. When she turned around, she saw Rupert's dead body on the floor.

 

The light coming from the hall shone into the room she had just been trapped in. His mouth was closed but his eyes opened, staring at her. He had a bullet hole in his forehead, leaving behind a large puddle of blood.

 

"That's how it goes when you do not follow orders." Dougal laughed while he started pulling her down from the corridor away from the sight of the dead Rupert.

 

He pulled her back to the room she had found Jamie but this time he sat up next to Frank and Murtagh.

 

She was relieved when she saw everyone was still alive, but worried about the sick game Dougal seemed to play.

 

"Sassenach I told you what would happened if you talked and see what mess we are in ... three men here who will have to take the consequences."

 

Her nickname Jamie used to call her sounded disgusting coming from Dougal.

 

"Let her be Dougal .. if somebody's going to take the consequences It should be me,I pulled her into this shit," Jamie said furiously.

 

She looked down at her shaking hands full of blood, Rupert's blood. Her adrenaline had begun to sip out and her usual self began to feel the fear that she would die.

 

Perhaps worst of all, she would see the man she loved die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a hard time translating it, let me know what you think.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still tired so sorry for mistakes xoxo

The second Dougal left the room she collapsed on the floor, all the power she had to stand disappeared.

 

Both Jamie and Frank flew to catch her but she ended up waving them away.

 

"Let go,I’m fine..."

 

"You are shaking Clarie." Frank replied, who desperately wanted to comfort her.

 

"If you were locked in with a dead man you would also be shaking Frank...”

 

Everybody looked at her and realized that she had blood in her hair and her entire shirt was bloody in the back.

 

"What happened to Rupert?"

 

"He didn’t want to shoot me, so Dougal shot him ..." replied a bitter Murtagh who was still sitting on the floor.

 

"So he's going to shoot everyone, is that his solution to this?"

 

"Everyone who could betray him will die today. He still has Hank, Willie and Angus out there .. "

 

When she heard the name of the last member, she remembered the event with Jamie.

 

"Was it Hank with the hammer?" She looked at Jamie next to her.

 

"Aye it was Hank, he got a few blows with his fists and kicked me in the head, but when I kicked him in the balls he got pissed... He picked up the hammer and was just about to hit when you came, crazy lass what were you thinking?"

 

She expected him to be angry with her impulsive behavior earlier, but when she looked at him, she only saw tenderness and he held his hand against her cheek.

 

"So the blood was not yours?" She responded gently.

 

"No, it was Ruperts. When they shot him, I caught him. I tried to attack Dougal and that's when Hank came in.."

 

Frank and Jamie sat on each side of her and the obvious competition that was going on between them made her uncomfortable. She felt like a rag doll being dragged back and forth.

 

"Can you back up? I can’t breathe."

 

"Now what? Should we sit here and wait until till they shoot us one by one? "Replied an annoyed Frank.

 

Claire's selfless action had made him realize that Claire's feelings for her kidnappers were stronger than he thought. He did not like it. The more he tried to touch her the more she moved away. He would not lose her to that barbarian.

 

Claire told them that she tried to call Detective John Gray just before she walked in, but it ended with a quick message when he did not answer. She had entered the workshop with the hope that he would appear with the FBI or something and help them before anyone gets hurt. But now she began to think he would be to late.

 

"You did good lass ... all we can do now is to wait," said Murtagh with a little hint of an smile.

 

She felt proud of what she had done. She had called the police, she saved Jamie from getting his head smashed in by a hammer and that she even managed to get a smile of the grumpiest man she ever met.

 

"I'm so sorry Claire, I never wanted this to happen! I thought I protected you when I went to the police .. The only thing I've thought of since they took me is how you've been and where you were! This has been a real eye opener for me, if we survive this, I'll show you every day how much I love you "

 

She became somewhat inconvenient to discuss her relationship with Frank in front of the others and she really did not want to make it more uncomfortable by saying once again that they were no longer together. Whether Frank realized now that he was not present in their relationship, there was no way to go back after this.

 

"If we survive, we can talk later Frank..."

 

She avoided looking at Jamie who during Franks speech had moved further away from her, of respect or perhaps because he just didn’t want to listen.

 

No one talked after that, she tried to close her eyes and think of the garden she could have had if life had been different. She needed to distance herself from the terrible reality she was in.

 

In her imagination she was Claire Malcolm, a carefree woman who spent her days caring for her garden and in the evenings she lay safe in her bed.

 

She began to imagine a man next to her who kissed her and whispered affectionate words in her ear.

 

She opened her eyes again when she realized that the man she imagined was Jamie and got a Flashback to the last day at the motel.

 

"I wish we had met in another life and at another place Claire."

 

He met her eyes and his eyes seemed to reflect her own.

 

The incident with Jamie on the floor and that her first reaction was to protect him with her life confirming what she had not wanted to admit to herself. She loved Jamie.

 

They did not break eye contact, even when Frank tried to get in touch with her. They just looked at each other like they wanted to memorize everything before they died.

 

In conclusion, they had to look away where they heard the police storm the building and there was scream and shooting outside the door.

 

Relief that she would survive, made her get of the floor to stand up.

 

The door flew wide open but it was not a police uniform she met ,but an hysterical Dougal.

 

Confused about what she should do, she froze, even when he was aiming the gun at her, she did not move.

 

Maybe she gave up, aware of what would happen.

 

"One shot"

 

"Two shots"

 

She could feel the blood poring out of her and the turmoil around her became quieter until all she heard was the sound of her own heartbeat.

 

She turned her head and saw Jamie, his terrified and he tried to crawl to her.

 

At first she became warm with an tingling feeling in her body but it transformed fast and when the pain became too much she closed her eyes and let the darkness take her.

 

~

 

He did not have the time to react when Dougal shot the first time, he did not recallhow he even got up, but his instincts were to get to Claire.

 

He didn’t even know when Dougal shot him. He just remembered falling down.

 

When he tried to crawl to Claire, the police came in, they grabbed Dougal and when he was a meter from Claire, she closed her eyes.

 

He shouted when more policemen came in and grabbed him. When they picked him up from the ground, he only saw a lifeless Claire on the ground.

 

They pulled him away from the room and outside in the hall he saw all of his old friends killed.

 

Several men tried to investigate his leg, which he did not even knew was bleeding, hysterically he tried to push them away. It ended up with several policemen pushing him into the back seat of a police car.

 

Several ambulances stood outside and he could see from inside the police car when they rolled Claire out on a stretcher with Frank walking next to her. Her eyes were still closed.

 

It quickly left and left him desperate and unknowing about her condition.

 

When they had left, he let the other ambulance men examine him and they drove to the hospital.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is purely fiction, I have no real knowledge of laws or medicin. Just pretend that what I’m writing is “real”
> 
> Special thanks to @kalendraashtar answering my medical questions during the night.
> 
> Please let me know what you think. 
> 
> Xoxo

She was sure she was dead. She saw white doves flying in a white room, their wing striking against their bodies echoed in the room until it went to synchronized beeping sounds.

 

She opened her eyes and saw blurred contours, everything shone white and that forced her to shut them again again. The beeping sound increased.

 

She turned her head and tried to focus her eyes where the sound came from, she saw a monitor that showed heart sequences and she understood where she was. She followed the cables until she realized she was connected to it.

 

A figure approached, her vision was still a little blurred so she could not distinguish who it was, when the figure came closer she saw that it was detective John Gray.

 

"Welcome back Claire."

 

It took a couple of tries before she managed to get some words out, her throat was dry and sore. Probably after a tube that had been in her throat. John was quick with a glass of water and helped her to drink.

 

"What happened?"

 

"I received your message. We were outside the workshop for a while and when we got in, we were met by armed men who started shooting immediately. My men eliminated everyone except one .. "

 

"Dougal?"

 

"Yes, he fled the scene, probably realizing it was over and wanted to kill everyone before we could reach you."

 

She could hear on the monitor that her heart began to hit faster.

 

"What happened next?"

 

He looked at her and took a deep breath.

 

"We managed to catch Dougal soon after he shot you. He is locked up in isolation until the trial. "

 

"And what about the others?"

 

"Frank Randall is unharmed and went home after he left his testimony. He was here a few hours ago and waited for you to wake up. "

 

Her eyes showed that it was not Frank she wondered about so he continued.

 

"Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser is a few rooms down with a pair of broken ribs and James Fraser is awake after surgery, he was shot in the leg but is doing well."

 

"So everyone is fine?" The ease that Jamie was alive made her cry.

 

"The doctor will come in soon and talk to you."

 

"What's going to happen now Detective Gray?"

 

"James Fraser and Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser will be relocated to the prison hospital tomorrow in anticipation of the trial. They are both suspected of kidnapping, armed robbery and murder. They are facing lifetime in prison. "

 

She tried to get up, but the pain in her stomach prevented her from moving and her rapid movement made her nauseous. John Gray hurried to her bed and tried to calm her down.

 

"I have to testify against them?"

 

"We only have Frank Randall's testimony and his story can only be confirmed by you. Everyone else who would have something to say is either dead or refusing to talk. So yes you have to testify. "

 

"Can I refuse? Deny?"

 

"You must testify according to the law."

 

"But if I do not report someone for the kidnapping, there is no case? I can always say I followed by my own will? "

 

"Whether you followed them on your own. They are still suspected of armed robbery and murder Miss Beauchamp, and you need to testify in those cases to."

 

He seemed upset by her trying to deny that there was a kidnapping. But if she could relieve Jamie's punishment, she would do it. She knew it was Dougal who shot the security guards and if she could prove that Jamie was innocent, maybe his punishment could be reduced from lifetime to a couple of years.

 

"A couple of years .." Still the thought that Jamie would have to sit for years in prison made her despair. She knew he was a companion to the robbery but she could not stand the idea that he would be somewhere where she was not. She wouldcome up with a plan.

 

They were interrupted when the doctor came in and presented himself.

 

”Hi Claire, I am Dr. Joe Abernathy, the surgeon who did your operation. How are you feeling?”

 

“Sore... but not so much in pain.”

 

“You can thank the drugs for that one” he laughed.

 

John Gray remained in the room while Dr. Abernathy explained what had happened.

 

“Miss Beauchamp, you were shot in the abdomen. When you came in you had lost a lot of blood and had a raptured  spleen, we had to remove it. You are lucky the bullet missed any major vessels and we were able to repair the damage"

 

 

She listened carefully to Dr. Abernathy when she got an idea.

 

"I'm sorry doctor, but I have a question?"

 

"Yes, What is your question?"

 

"Since I have survived miraculously, I would like to get in touch with a priest! I have too many things I need to get from my chest if there would be any complications after my surgery. "

 

John Gray looked curious at her and tried to ponder over her great interest in meeting a priest.

 

"Oh yes, absolutely it's possible to arrange. We have a priest who usually comes when he is needed. Do you want me to call him? "

 

"I would appreciate that doctor, thank you."

 

She turned to John Gray and said "Is there any possibility that I can meet Jamie ... I mean James."

 

Before John Gray could answer, Dr. Abernathy said.

 

"Absolutely not .. You've just gone through a big surgery and are under no circumstances to leave the bed."

 

She looked at John Gray with the most innocent look she could.

 

"Can I meet him?"

 

He was silent for a long time and seemed hesitant, but agreed that they could meet for a little while under supervision in her room. Jamie was awake and would probably be able to sit in a wheelchair the following day.

 

 

~

 

 

 

The memory of Claire's bloody body on the ground haunted him so much that they had to sedate him until he became unconscious to not be a danger to others or to himself.

 

He was restrained with handcuffs in his hospital bed ,with a guard outside the door. Even if he wanted to, he would not be able to escape.

 

When they read the charges what he was suspected of, the room began to spin. He stood very close to being sentenced for life.

 

He had refused to talk until they let him see Claire and when John Gray told him Claire had woken up and wanted to see him, he could breathe properly again.

 

But Detective Gray had his own proposal. He agreed to let him meet Claire if he pleaded guilty.

 

It was his word against Dougal, the rest who had been part of the robbery was dead. Murtagh sat in a car with Claire several miles away during the robbery.

 

John Gray believed him about the shooting, that it was Dougal who had done it and offered him a deal.

 

That if he pleaded guilty on the robbery of Grant Bank, he would give him 5 years and said that if he behaved he could be out on probation after 2 years.

 

"Let me meet her see her and I’ll sign whatever you want ..."

 

The nurse rolled him down the hall in a wheelchair. Detective Gray walking behind them. When they stayed outside one of the rooms, he saw Claire lying in one of the beds with a man next to her.

 

When he entered the room and Claire saw him, she gave him a big smile. After all she's been through, she smiled at him.

 

The man standing by her side had turned around and when he saw the Bible in his hand, he understood that it was a priest.

 

"Detective Gray, I must ask you to leave the room .. What I'm going to say now is between us and God." Said Claire low with a raspy voice.

 

Reluctantly John Gray went out of the room. But stood close outside the shut door.

 

"Claire, how are you? What is going on?"

 

"Hysch Jamie, we do not have much time. Father you can start now .. "

 

Confused about what would happen, he looked at Claire.

 

The priest began.

 

”We have gathered here today to witness and celebrate the wedding of Claire and Jamie. Marriage is the promise of hope between two people who love each other sincerely, who honor each other as individuals, and who wish to unite their lives and share the future together. In this ceremony, they dedicate themselves to the happiness and well-being of each other, in a union of mutual caring and responsibility.”

 

Shocked of what was happening, he stared at Claire but she took his hand to her lips and kissed it softly and whispered

 

"No one can force me to testify against my husband. Please fader continue..”

 

"Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to share your life with him, and do you promise that you will love him, and tenderly care for him in all the varying circumstances of your lives?"

 

"I do."


	18. Chapter 18

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride. "

 

Jamie gently got out of his wheelchair and kissed her. She could feel him smiling against her lips.

 

Their kiss was interrupted when John Gray came into storming the room. "Miss Beauchamp, what are you doing?"

 

"You may call me Mrs Fraser."

 

His eyes almostjumped out of surprise and anger. He shouted at one of the guards and they rolled Jamie out of the room.

  

"I could arrest you for this ... you are preventing the law .."

 

He paced back and forth in front of her bed, he was furious.

 

"You're smart, I have to give you that. As a James wife, I can not force you to testify against him... "

 

"I apologize detective but I'm getting tired, I want you to go now."

 

He left the room and said, " the truth will come out, Mrs. Fraser." He spit out her new name as if it was poison.

 

She never thought it would work, when Father Bane had come to her room, she'd recognized him from her uncle's funeral. She was not a believing woman but yet she had gone back to the church again and cried over the loss of her last family member.

 

She had quickly explained the situation with a white lie that her boyfriend had to go to prison and that they had sinned and she was with child. She wanted to get married before they moved him to the prison. "For the sake of the child"

 

Father Bane had seen the sorrow in her eyes and sympathized with her being forced to be parted with some one she loved yet again.

 

When Jamie had entered the room, all doubts had disappeared. How bizarre and weird their history was, she wanted nothing but be Claire Fraser.

 

His shocking expressions when he understood what she was doing made her that start laughing so hard that her stomach began to hurt.

 

What was left now was to make sure Jamie did not go to prison.

 

There was no real evidence that Jamie was one of the robbers in either her own bank or the other. Their only witnesses were herself and Dougal. Murtagh did not physically participate in any of them.

 

Frank's story could be provoked as a fictional story of a jealous ex-boyfriend.

 

She could help Murtagh by testifying to his innocence that they spent several hours alone in a car during the last robbery.

 

The big problem was that it was not possible to prove that Jamie was not involved in the robbery and did not shoot the guards.

 

When Frank returned to the hospital to visit her, he had been ravaged by her new title. He questioned her mentality yet again and wanted her to seek help. That she suffered from some kind of Stockholm syndrome and that she had fantasized feelings about a man who exposed her to so much harm that she finally got crazy.

 

"I'm not crazy Frank, I do not know how it happened, but after I met Jamie, it was like i woke up. Then when I realized that I could lose him, it began to hurt breathing, every breath proved that I could not live without him. "

 

"So all we had, are you throwing away?"

 

"I will always be grateful to you because you were there when I needed you Frank ..."

 

He said nothing more, but left the room.

 

Dr. Abernathy released her a week later when she showed signs that she was heeling and she promised to come back in a few days later to examine her wounds were not infected and that the stitches were holding. He forbid her to take bathes and needed her to arrange transfer home, she was under no circumstances allowed to drive.

 

She just wanted to go home, get her cat and wait for news about Jamie.

 

As Jamie's wife, she was told where he was but not allowed to meet him before the trial. John Gray had pulled all strings he had that she under no circumstances, she would see him. After their little stunt, John Gray had gone from an allied to enemy. His new goal in life was to put Jamie in jail. He had withdrawn his deal and would make sure Jamie was sentenced guilty.

 

She took a taxi home to her apartment, knocked at Mrs Fitz and fetched Adso.

 

At home, lots of mail from the district courthouse were waiting about the trial. In a few days she would appear and testify.

 

She may not have the right to visit Jamie but nothing prevented her from sending a letter instead.

 

~

 

Being in prison was as expected, bad food and hard beds and ever day seemed the same.

 

 

He and Murtagh had been moved to the same prison as both his uncles.

 

One of the first things he did was visit his uncle Colum.

 

His once big strong uncle was now a weak crippled man forever stuck in his wheelchair. Colum was assisted by a guard sitting outside the courtyard after his accident.

 

"Jamie, the rumors are that my brother is locked in the insulation."

 

They talked the little time they had and Jamie told him about everything that had happened including the part that it was Dougal who arranged the assault on Colum which made him paralyzed. He told him that Dougal shot his cousin Rupert when he refused to shoot Murtagh.

 

Colum did not flinch about the news about his brother's deceit and he warned Jamie. Whether Dougal was in isolation, he had contacts that would help him take care of his problems.

 

When he was in his cell in the dark, he thought of Claire. His extraordinary wife.

 

He began to make plans what he would do when he came out. He wanted to bring her to Lallybroch and introduce her to his sister. He swore he would never commit another crime, he would spend his days with Claire and start over.

 

He had received a letter from her. He had read it until he had memorized every word, then he had thrown it.

 

"

Jamie

 

I feel like everything in my life had led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks and my regrets. Everything. And when we're together, my past seems worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might never have met you.

 

I'll wait for you.

 

Love

 

Claire Fraser. "

 

 

He did not know what would happen in the trial and he wished he had taken the deal from John Gray, but knowing that whatever happened she would wait for him made him love her more.

 

~

 

 

She was the first witness to talk.

 

The surveillance cameras proved that she had been forced to leave the bank when they saw a video clip on her being carried by one of the robbers. She denied all allegations that Jamie had something to to with the kidnaping. That she did not know who of the men who carried her.

 

Her testimony that she had been sitting with Murtagh in a car several miles away during the second robbery, had left him released the day before Jamie's trial.

 

She claimed that Jamie only came to the storehouse that day after the robbery to save her from his sick uncle and that Murtagh helped him.

 

Their lawyer Ned Gowan showed a receipt and a photo of Claire and Jamie when they checked in at the motel as proof that they went there to hide from Dougal. He also showed surveillance pictures on Angus standing outside their motel room.

 

She told them Angus drove them to Dougal and he had threatened her that if she did not obey him, that he would hurt Jamie if she talked to the police.

 

That's when she said she met John Gray for the first time. She told them that Jamie managed to escape from Dougal and gone to her apartment.

 

She reminded John Gray that he himself claimed it was impossible for a woman of her size to crush that table and that it was Jamie who climbed in through the window and landed on it.

 

"Why did James climb through the window if he was your boyfriend and why did you lied that you were alone?" Asked the defense lawyer.

 

"He saw the police car outside. He knew Dougal had contacts within the police and did not want to risk anything. Detective John Gray could ease have been a corrupt police as far as I know. "She looked at John Gray and his eyes shone black.

 

The whole trial went as she planned, even Franks testimony.

 

"If Claire had been raped, why would she marry James? Your grace this sounds like a jealous man who was angry after their breakup. "

 

The judge crossed out Frank's story in the case and he was assisted out of the hall when he got upset.

 

Jamie smiled through all of the trial to her and seemed impressed of her and what she had managed to achieve. Everything seemed to go well until a little blonde girl was called to the stand.

 

"Say your name, hands on the Bible and say after me.

 

"I Laoghaire Mackenzie,

I swear to tell the truth, The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about laws or trials so just go with it hahah

"Do you know him? Said the defense attorney to Laoghaire and pointed to Jamie.

 

"Yes ... but I know him as Alexander Malcolm."

 

"Who is this Alexander Malcolm to you?"

 

"My boyfriend."

 

Laoghaire began to tell about her relationship with Alexander Malcolm, how he showed up from nowhere and seduced her. And when she told them she was also the bank director's daughter, the jury began to look disliking at Jamie.

 

The chance that he randomly met and dated Laoghaire was very low and her plan began to fall in front of her eyes.

 

But when the defense attorney continued to quiz Laoghaire, Claire held her breath.

 

"Miss Mackenzie, do you think that man has deliberately tricked you into gaining valuable information from your father?”

 

"No"

 

Everyone looked surprised at her, even the defense attorney didn’t expect her answer.

 

"I think Alexander ... I mean James is a man who was unhappy in his relationship and when he met me he realized he met his soul mate."

 

Claire wanted to laugh, but was smart enough to be quiet.

 

"But if he was so unhappy in his relationship why did he marry Claire?"

 

"I think he needed to marry her because otherwise it would have been too obvious."

 

"What had been too obvious?" The defense attorney began to get annoyed by the delusions of this young and naive woman.

 

"Yes, he had married me, as he said he wanted, he knew he would look more guilty because my dad is who he is."

 

"But you do not think it's strange that this Alexander pops up and your father's bank gets robbed shortly after that?"

 

"No."

 

When it was Ned Gowan's turn, he continued playing on her obvious ignorance until he was sure that she looked ridiculous in even the judges eyes

 

When it was finally Jamie's turn to talk. She began to get nervous and started sweating, her plan never meant that the little spoiled girl would pop up and identify Jamie as Alexander.

 

"I James Fraser, I swear to tell the truth, The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god."

 

 

"Mr. Fraser, can you tell me about your wife?"

 

If he was surprised at the defense attorneys question, he did not show it, he just looked at Claire and smiled.

 

"Claire is the most incredible woman I've ever met. She is kind, devoted and courageous and has proven over and over how far she is willing to go for those she loves. Everybody in here seems to forget that she alone went out to save not only myself but without the lives of others. Which almost cost her own in the end.”

 

"So you love her a lot?"

 

"Yes."

 

 

"Do you suffer from any psychological disease Mr. Fraser?"

 

"No."

 

"If you do not suffer from any type of schizophrenia or any other split personality, why did you go under another name as Alexander Malcolm and began to meet Laoghaire?"

 

~

 

He had never thought about lying but when Claire had put up the new story as she did, he could not be the one who revealed her lie, putting her in a position where she could be charged for lying.

 

But he began to feel trapped in a corner. The defense attorney's technique was smart, he wanted Jamie to admit he was only with Laoghaire for information or make it look like marrying Claire was to protect himself.

 

He had no alibi for any of the robbery and his luck was running out. He knew what he would do now would certainly make him look more guilty but he had no choice.

 

 

"I refuse to answer on the grounds I might incriminate myself"

 

John Gray stood up and shouted "Your honor, can he do that?"

 

The whole courtroom began to talk and Judge Duncan tried to overcome the crowd with his gavel.

 

"SILENCE IN THE COURT ROOM !!"

 

Judge Duncan looked at him and said.

 

"Will you answer all your questions like this? You understand Mr Fraser that in everyone's eyes you look more guilty if you do not answer the lawyer's questions. "

 

"I refuse to answer on the grounds I might incriminate myself"

 

"Okay, we are finish for today and we willstart early the day after tomorrow with the last witnesses, Mr. Fraser, you will return to prison until the trial is over. Courts is adjourned"

 

The guards pulled out Jamie and the last thing he saw was the concern in Claire's eyes.

 

When he came back to his cell, he felt more lonely than ever, with Murtagh released and Colum at a special department, he had nobody.

 

He was thinking about his choice to refuse to answer the questions and was worried that it was a wrong decision.

 

Claire's plan had been good but not good enough for him to get out of this. He was guilty of everything except the murder of the guard. He had no good lie to cope with this and in two days he would sit there again in the courtroom and listen to Dougal and he had nothing to lose.

 

Dougal would drag him down with him.

 

The following day, he had kept for himself, but with his length and size he attracted all unwanted attention anyway.

 

Presumably people wanted to mark their reefs and prove who was in charge. For one after the other came and tried to start trouble. But when they did not get the reaction they wanted, they became annoyed and left empty threats that he should be careful.

 

Colum came out with his guard and was placed in a corner in his wheelchair.

 

"James, my sources told me someone tried to get the guards to unlock your cell tonight."

 

He could guess that it was Dougal who lay behind the plan to attack him but he was still in isolation and nobody would care if he told anyone. All he could do was wait and hope no one opened his door when he was asleep.

 

He could not even feel comforted by the fact that his cellmate did not snore that night, knowing that someone might come, made him stay awake and listened for footsteps.

 

He must have fallen asleep because he woke up by the sound of a baton who was banging against the cell bars further away. He became terrified when the echoing sound came closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to @bdell1 for helping me with the legal parts and helping out with the mess I was in haha
> 
> This chapter was super hard to translate so ignore all the grammar mistakes.
> 
> Let me know what you think.

She was still in bed, she had been awake since dawn and she did not want to go up, Just a few hours left until the trial.

 

The day before, she had received a letter stating that they wanted to make an evaluation of her psychological health, that she had a traumatic experience and they had given her an appointment to talk to a psychologist. She had laughed when she read it.

 

She wanted to talk to Jamie about it but John had managed to stop her letters.

 

If Jamie was sentenced guilty, he facing prison for many years. Dougal still insisted that Jamie was the master mind in planning all robberies and that he was also the one who shot the security guards. Because they had the same height and everyone had masks on, it was impossible to say who it was on the surveillance.

 

She had shown the police the image he sent to her on Jamie, Frank and Murtagh including the message that clearly showed that he threatened her and was the one arranging so she went to Sweeny Motors that day.

 

Whether Dougal was yet convicted of the robbery, he was charged guilty for the attempt murder on her and the murder of Rupert. Either way has going to jail.

 

She hoped that the evidence against Dougal was enough to prove what he was capable of.

 

She had not heard a word from Frank since that day in the courtroom but it was for the best. That chapter in her life was over. But he would have liked to hear that she needed to go to therapy.

 

She was going to talk to the psychologist Geillis Duncan, and in the car she began to get nervous, she had never gone to therapy before, but considering that psychologists had a duty of confidentiality, she was thinking about telling the truth.

 

She knew that what she felt for Jamie was real and the best way to prove it was to tell the truth, From beginning to end.

 

But if Ned Gowan had not miraculously called her in time, things might have gone different. He told her that the one who arranged her meeting with Geillis Duncan was Detective John Gray and when Ned had heard that, he had contacted the judge in Jamie's case.

 

"So John Grey's plan was to make me talk to a psychologist and use it against me?"

 

"Yes, But the Judge finds your medical evaluation is confidential and that prosecution has to go another way to get what they are after."

 

"So if I had gone, could they have had Geillis Duncan to testify today and say my marriage to Jamie was due to my instability after the shooting?”

 

"Yes. Then you're no longer sound credible. "

 

She had turned the car straight away and drove back home, she began to worry about John Gray's ways. He almost seemed to take it to personally.

 

 

When it was time to go to court, it reprimanded by journalists outside. Everybody screamed and tried to talk to her while several flashes blinded her with their cameras.

 

Inside the courtroom she sat in the audience, relived that she would not have to testify any more. But she still felt uncomfortable when John Grey looked at her from across the room.

 

When the guards came in with Jamie, she almost choked on her coffee, his face was swollen and full of bruises. It was obvious what had happened to him.

 

Judge Duncan came in and everyone got up.

 

"This Court is now in sesssion."

 

When he called in the next witness, two guards escorted in Dougal. He looked very happy for a man who had been insulated for almost two weeks.

 

He told everyone how he was just an old man who worked as a bartender and took care of his sick wife. He tried to seek as much sympathy as he could.

 

But Ned Gowan showed all the evidence he had suggesting that Dougal was both dangerous and certainly a psychopath. No matter how much Dougal tried to look like an innocent man, he was already convicted of the murder of Rupert. He did not seem credible to anyone. Not even the defender could make Dougal look good. No one in that room doubted that Dougal had been the shooter in this case too. But what was left was if Jamie had been involved in the robbery with him.

 

 

The judge had asked what had happened to Jamie and he had been honest and told them that one of the prison guards had come into his cell during the night and abused him. What had saved him was that the prisoners around had started screaming so high that several guards came in. The guard had lied and said it was Jamie's cell mate who attacked Jamie and he was not stupid to correct him in that moment.

 

The referee asked the jury to leave the room to come up with a sentence.

 

However, due to conflicts between members, the trial was postponed and would give the jury 24 hours to agree. But what shocked her and surely everyone else was when the judge said.

 

"Mr. Fraser, for humanitarian reasons and lack of evidence, you are free to go home until tomorrow, you are innocent until proven guilty. Courts is adjourned"

 

~

 

He could not understand that they would let him go home. Humanitarian was what they said, but it was just another word to make sure he didn’t die in prison until the trial was over.

 

But if he was charged guilty, there was nothing that would stop the guards from finishing what they had started. His thoughts were interrupted when Claire took his hand

 

"Let's go home."

 

"Aye"

 

Her apartment felt different he thought, but it was probably that he was invited this time.

 

Her cat had been very skeptical of him and had tried to mark his territory and had even managed to bite him as he tried to pat him.

 

All of the old pictures of Frank were removed and he began to feel a bit shy of being alone with Claire.

 

He saw that Claire seemed a little nervous too, because she talked a lot and did not really know what she would do. They had not touched each other since they had kissed at the hospital.

 

During their dinner they had started talking and it was as if they knew each other for years. All nervousness began to disappear from both sides and he felt happy about getting to know her and be himself. But none of them made the first move to touch each other.

 

He had taken a long shower and tried to wash of his days from prison but his brain and body seemed to be to aware of the fact that Claire probably in bed by now and was waiting for him. It caused several of his body parts to react. He turned off the water and walked towards her bedroom.


	21. Chapter 21

He could see her clothes she had worn during the day folded on a chair next to the bed. The room was dark, but there was some light from the street lamps outside, he stood wondering if he was going to put on clothes after the shower, he did not know if he should sleep naked next to her. 

 

Even if he was sure of her feelings about him, everything was so new, he did not want to go forward too fast.

 

He lay down carefully in the bed and fingered nervously on the blanket. He was almost annoyed by himself as to how nervous he was, it was not that it was the first time. But Claire seemed to scale off all his layers of the man he built in his years as the criminal Mac Dubh. He did not feel as brave as his usual self was.

 

"Jamie? Are you as scared as I am? "

 

"What are you afraid of?"

 

"That reality is going to catch up with us."

He was relieved at first that when he thought she was as nervous as him but it transformed into concern that she might have regretted it all.

 

"Claire, if you do not want to stay married to me after this, I'll understand. What you did was ... there are no words. "

 

"If i hadn’t married you that day, i would still had married you another day Jamie. I meant what I said, all my choices I made in my life lead me to you."

 

Her confirmation that she still wanted him made him a little braver, He took her hand, kissed it and said.

 

"What are you afraid of then?"

 

"That the jury condemns you to prison ... that somebody will hurt you." She pulled her hand out of his grip and gently pulled it over his injured face.

 

"Today I do not want to think about tomorrow, right here and right now I do not want to think of anything but you."

 

"What do you propose we do instead then Mr. Fraser?" She whispered.

 

His heart suddenly hit a lot harder when he drew her closer. He put his arms around her and pressed her lips against her neck and said, "Well Mrs Fraser, come her and I’ll show you."

 

Somewhere between all the kisses his usual self came out, all nervousness disappeared and all he wanted to do was to absorb her. He wanted her to forget all men who had been before him. And when he was done, there would be no one other than him.

 

~

 

Her sex-life with Frank had been okay, always the same position and predictable.

 

But her night with Jamie in the motel room had been everything else then okej, it had been mindblowing, out of space, smoking cigarettes after kind of sex.

 

But when they was next to each other, she noticed that he seemed a little cautious.

But when she tried to encourage him by climbing on top of him, it seemed to make the trick. He seemed to be pleasantly surprised that she was also naked under the covers.

 

He started massaging her ass, spreading them and pushing her harder against him, his grip on her ass was almost so hard that she knew she would leave marks.

 

She rubbed her body against him and when she felt his hand smashed one of her buttocks lightly, she moaned, taking her reply as approval he spanked her once more harder. She got more wet every time.

 

He rolled them over so he lay on top of herbreathless and began to kiss her breasts and started moving downwards, but she pulled him up just before reaching his destination.

 

"No forplay , I want you now!!" His eyes got darker and smiled.

He grabbed his cock against her pussy and pushed himself into a her hard.

 

"Faster Jamie"

 

But instead of increasing the pace, he pulled out of her, teasing her by pulling the top of his cock against her opening.

 

"Ah!"

 

"So you like being fucked hard?" He asked, and his dark gaze stared at her.

 

"Claire look at me .."

 

A little shy, she tried to look away.

 

"Tell me what you want Claire .." he said as he started massaging her most sensitive point.

 

She realized that he would not do anything more if she did not ask for it.

 

Not used to this kind of talk she became very shy and felt exposed and tried to cover herself.

 

"Claire, you do not have to be ashamed with me."

He seemed to be aware that she got embarrassed and pulled away her hands she had raised to hide herself with and began to kiss her carefully, she opened her mouth and his tongue found hers and she started to find herself back to the atmosphere she was in before.

 

But Jamie was still hovering over her and taking it slow,so she gathered her currage and she looked up,

 

"I want you to fuck me hard."

 

He looked at her and turned her around so she was on her stomach, a little breathless, she waited anticipating.

 

He pressed himself inside her again and with every push she took a firmer grip on the sheets.

 

He started of slow, then harder until every shock felt like ecstasy ...

 

Even when he started to pull her hair she got even more wet. Everything with this man triggered a new feeling inside her. She wanted to feel him everywhere..

She felt from the bottom of her toes how it began tingle, how fast her orgasm was building up, every shock he pumped into her, exploding vigorously and made her start shaking while his grip on her hips became harder when she came. She could feel he was close to.

But she wanted to see him so she managed to pull him away, surprised of her move he did not say anything but let her go. She pushed him down, climbed over him and rode him hard.

 

"I want to see when you come.”

 

All her inhibitions seemed to have disappeared and all she wanted was to see this amazing man's face when she rode him to orgasm.

 

“Come inside me Jamie!!”

 

When he shouted out her name, she came again and she stayed on top of him when both of their orgasms slowly ebbing out.

 

She was completely exhausted when they where done and he even offered to carry her into the shower but she just snuggled down next to him.

 

"Your wife is too tired, let's just sleep.

 

She closed her eyes and fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

 

 

~

 

 

When she was asleep next to him, he suddenly became scared.

 

Afraid that tomorrow would take her away from him.


	22. Chapter 22

She woke up with loud banging and swearing coming from the kitchen, She got up and grabbed her robe and smiled.

 

She started laughing when she saw her whole kitchen full of black thick smoke and an annoyed Jamie who threw the frying pan into the sink, she looked down and tried to figure out what she assumed was breakfast.

 

"I have not cooked for a while."

 

"What did you even try to make haha?"

 

"Scrambled eggs..... but your stupid stove had no markings so I must have turned the heat to high, so when I was setting the table and turned around the eggs was on fire...”

 

"Haha it's good for you that I'm not a breakfast person, I usually just drink coffee, black and one spoon sugar in it.”

 

"That information would have been good to have ."

 

"Haha andI can be a real bitch before my first cup so you better watch out!" She pretending to hit him and he grabbed her so she came closer to him.

 

"If I get to experience your morning humor once, I'm a happy man."

 

They had not mentioned the trial since yesterday but his comment reminded her and her little bubble that they were a newly wed couple bursted immediately. When he saw how sad she got, he lifted her up to the kitchen counter and he just held her.

 

She pulled her fingers through his hair like a comb and said. "Why haven’t I seen Murtagh since he came out?"

 

"I think he is hiding, in case they want to bring him back to jail."

 

"Do you know where he is?”

 

"Well I think I guess where he is but I’m not sure.."

 

“Maybe you can you there to?”

 

"And risk looking more suspicious? If I disappear, detective Gray will make your life a living hell, Claire he'll never stop looking for me ... "

 

"But you have money tucked away!! We can take them and leave Scotland? We can be Mr and Mrs Malcolm somewhere else? "She heard that she was almost sounded desperate and her face probably looked the same, but she was almost sure he would leave that courtroom in handcuffs.

 

"Would you do that?"

 

"Yes, I want to Jamie !! We can go now, fly to Costa Rica. "

 

He started kissing her again and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Between each kiss he laid on her body, he told her one reason why they couldn’t go.

 

The disappointment that she had taken his kisses as a confirmation. She didn’t try to argue after that so she said nothing and let him continue kissing her. He opened her robe and pulled it slowly off her so she sat completely naked on the bench.

 

He touched her all over her body, each kiss made her body react. He whispered how beautiful she was and how good she tasted.

 

Had it been 20 minutes earlier than she certainly would have appreciated his very careful review of her now hard nipples. But she could not help feeling that he was saying goodbye.

 

She pushed him away and jumped down. She put on her robe and went to the bedroom.

 

Adso stroked her leg and sought attention, but she ignored him and closed the door. Leaving her two men behind.

 

She didn’t know if she was angry or sad but she needed to be alone to calm down.

 

She was even quick to lock the door when she heard his footsteps approaching the bedroom.

 

"You know, I don’t know what it means when you lock yourself in. Can you open the door Claire?"

 

She opened the door and went standing by the window and she realized that she was angry as he stood behind her and began to kiss her again.

 

"Can you stop?"

 

He moved away from her and she heard when the bed creaked when he sat down.

 

"Do you want to tell me why you're angry?"

 

"No."

 

"But we do not have the whole day!! Can you just tell me??"

 

He got up again and grabbed her arm and tried to make her look at him.

 

"But can you let me be alone for just at second!!!!"

 

"No, I'm not going to leave you alone. In about 4 hours I’m going to leave and maybe not come back .. I just..."

 

"You what? You want one last fuck before you leave?

 

He seemed to be shocked first, but it quickly went to anger.

 

"You are the most irrational woman I have ever met .... I did not mean so !!!"

 

"Who are we trying to fool anyway? The odds of you getting out of that courtroom is low...”

 

"If you want I’ll give you an out!"

 

"An out!!? I asked you to escape with me and you said no!!! You came from nowhere and turned my whole life upside and down and now your doing it again... "

 

"Do you think I like this? Do you think I want to sit here knowing that this maybe it's the last time? "

 

"You just gave up !!! Do not think I've noticed that you've been sitting all morning and trying to say goodbye??? "

 

"Im not giving up Claire .. I'm being realistic! If I had enough courage, I would propose we get divorce right here, right now"

 

The word divorce made her to stop

 

"Do you want an divorce?"

 

"I do not want you to spend your life waiting for me. My odds are low and when I return to prison, you will sit here waiting for our life to start ... but I want you to live now! "

 

"So after all we been through, I'll just go on and forget you? "She was so angry that she wasshaking.

 

"12 years is a long time Claire, it's 12 years that you will never get back. You can get things i can not give you! A real wedding, stability, children. The list is endless ... "

 

"Maybe I can go back to Frank then?" Will you be satisfied then?”

 

"Do not think for a second that the thought of you with another man makes me happy! I could kill every man who even looks at you ..Cant you see I’m doing this for you? "

 

Her heart broke down when she realized that he did not believe that their love was not worth fighting for. He did not understand that if she did not get all those things with him, it was not worth having them at all.

 

She had undergone more traumatic events in a week than a normal person goes through in a lifetime and she would do it again if it meant they chould be together.

 

"You win Jamie...”

 

~

 

He had a big lump in his stomach. Theirconversations had been as a grenade that was waiting and when she said she agreed to a divorce it was like it exploded inside him.

 

He had never planned about asking her for an divorce but he knew his future. If someone killed him or if he spend 12 years in that place he wouldn’t be the same man. It wouldn’t be fair of him to ask her to wait and put her life on hold.

 

He had spent all night when she was asleep and the whole morning in the kitchen to memorize everything about her.

 

She had exactly 21 freckles in her face.

 

Her eyes he had always thought was brown but after further inspection he had noticed that they were more golden like really nice whiskey.

 

Her hair was brown, but when the sun hit it, it shone in several shades of red as well.

 

Just knowing that she was not a morning person was one of the things he added to his list.

 

How he loved that when he kissed a certain point at her neck, she got goosebumps all over her body.

 

No he was not happy with his choice, he would spend the rest of his life regret what he said. But to let this amazing woman wait for him ... he would never forgive himself for it. He began to think about his mother's expression again.

 

"Do not swim to far so you can not swim back Jamie, then you'll drown"

 

And for the first time he would let himself drown. For her sake, he would give up everything. Even if it made him hate himself.

 

Claire had begun to cry and went into the bathroom but she never locked. So he got up and went to the bathroom door and knocked.

 

"Claire, can I come in?"

 

"Yes," he heard her answer low.

 

She sat on the floor and cried, she almost looked like that time at the motel but this time it was worse. He sat next to her but not so close that he moved her, wanting to give her space.

 

"I do not want this Claire, it's important that you understand that! I love you so much but how can I say it and let you go through this. If you love someone, you must sometimes act unselfishly. "

 

"Is it not sad that the first time you say the words I love you, it's in the same sentence that you are saying you are leaving me...”

 

He tried to think and was ashamed that he hadn’t really said the words before. In his head he said it all the time.

 

"I’m not leaving you, I’m letting you go."

 

"I have not asked for it, You could not even discuss this with me, you decided for me."

 

"Do you love me Claire?"

 

It made her look at him for the first time since he got into the bathroom and his heart broke. How could he leave the apartment and knowing that he forced her away.

 

"Yes I love you."

 

"Can you stay here today? I want to say goodbye here, without all the people there watching. "


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okej I had an super fun idea and I’m really happy cause I was planning to end this with an happy ending. But now the story is alive again!

"I got lost in him and it was the kind of lost that's exactly like being found but then when he left I was lost again."

 

She had agreed to stay home and when the phone rang, she dared not to answer it, she didn’t want to hear it. The second time she answered.

 

It was Ned Gowan, the jury had sentenced him guilty. He got 12 years for armed robbery.

 

She had cried when Ned told her Jamie had left him divorce papers and that Ned would come by and leave them for her the sign.

 

She could not do much about Jamie's decision that he thought it was best for her to move on but she did not have to sign any paper. That was her choice ..

 

A few days later, she had called the prison and they said she was not on the visiting list so she could not see Jamie. She tried to insist that she was his wife but when they told her Jamie himself was the one who hade arrange that she could not see him, she became pissed off.

 

"That stupid , stubborn bastard!!!!!"

 

If this was his way of trying to drive her away, he could feel satisfied.

 

She had thrown the phone into the wall so it broke and she went to her bedroom and packed.

 

If that were what he wanted, she would meet his wish, she would try to move on, she would resume her last try and she would leave Scotland.

 

But when she were packing and found one of his shirts, it smelled like him and she cried again.

 

"Damn you James Fraser, you said you left your heart here with me, but you took mine with you.”

 

She put his shirt in her bag and she put Adso into his cage and left the apartment, the divorce the papers remained on the table without her signing.

 

She went to the airport and flew to London. She did not want to be too close to Jamie, but she didn’t manage to be too far away either.

 

She did not have enough money so she managed to get a job at another bank in London. She was disappointed that she was back where she started but her new bank seemed to be a good workplace and her colleagues were nice even her boss Geneva Dunsany was good. She would work there for a little while until she could afford to start studying.

 

But after two years she still worked there, she had too many excuses why she had stayed.

 

Life got in the way, first she wanted an apartment. Then her period was late, she had been crying in the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test.

 

She had wanted to tell Jamie that he would be a father and had tried to go through Ned Gowan to tell him, but when he told her Jamie did not want any contact with her and that he still wanted her to sign the divorce paper.

 

So she didn’t tell anyone and 9 mouths later she gave birth to a perfect little girl.

 

She named her Julia after her mother.

 

"Julia Fraser"

 

She was technically still Jamie's wife so she gave their daughter the same last name as her own. But when she had to fill out the fathers name she wrote unknown.

 

But after the hard pregnancy she had, with Julia's first months with colic and endless of sleepless nights and that Jamie refused to talk to her, she began to hate him. It was no more than fair that he was locked up, he could rot there.

 

For each month as Julia grew, she became more like Jamie every day, she had barely had any hair when she was born but when she was around 1 year old she had got as red thick curly hair as her father.

 

But here she sat on her boring job and worked while the babysitter took care of Julia. She hated that she left Julia to go to work but as a single mom she needed the money.

 

It was a normal Wednesday when a familiar face had show up outside her apartment. Ned Gowan had brought a letter from Jamie and a check. She had read the letter quickly and it was something that he did not love her anymore and that he wanted to give her money to sign the divorce paper.

 

It was a big sum of money, enough for her to even stop working for a while if she wanted to. She had taken the check and signed without saying a word.

 

That night, sitting next to her daughter's bed, watching her when she was sleeping, she decided that they needed to move again.

 

She had gone to London to be close to Jamie, but he showed that he did not want anything to do with her. It was no more than right that she moved. Thanks to his dirty money, she finally had the money to start over.

 

But she never left London, she had accidentally found a house that was for sale outside of town and it had spoken to her. The house was quite small but had a very large backyard, perfect for Julia to run freely and play and even for her to get the garden she always wanted. She slowly began to feel lucky as Claire Beauchamp.

 

Life felt easier on the countryside with Julia and their daily lives were usually spent outside if the weather was good. Julia didn’t really talk yet, she was only 1 and could say about 10 words and she started missing to have an adult to talk to. She felt so desperate she even thought of testing online dating.

 

So when Julia was asleep, she became a member of the dating site True Match. She had had a glass of wine while she wrote her profile.

 

She did not really look for a relationship but she felt terribly lonely.

 

 

~

 

The day he left Claire's apartment, James Fraser died.

 

He needed to be smart, he needed protection in the prison and that people were afraid of him.

 

So he matched the personality with his appearance until he was no longer James Fraser without the infamous Mac Dubh.

 

The first thing he had done was to make sure he was no longer connected to Claire. Ned would make sure she got the paper and he removed her from the visiting list.

 

The rumor of Mac Dubh spread quickly and he became friends with everyone from bank robbers and even killers. He needed to get alliances with people who could stand on his side against his uncle Dougal.

 

Colum had introduced him to Josiah Beardsley, his father had been murdered on Dougal's orders several years earlier. Josiah's goal since Dougal was moved from isolation was to kill him. No-one had noticed except a few prisoners that he had an identical twin brother. No one really could tell them apart. They even had the same tattoos. The only way to tell them apart was that his brother Keziah was mute.

 

Jo and Kezzie were never in the same place at the same time, that was their trick. No one could ever accuse them because there was always a witness who had seen one of them on another occasion. Not even the guards could tell them apart.

 

He began to come into his character like Mac Dubh every day and it helped to push away his feelings to Claire. He was a little worried who would step out of prison when his time was over.

 

Ned Gowan had told him that she had moved to London and refused to sign the papers, still hoping he would change his mind. So he made sure Murtagh wrote a check to forward to Ned to give Claire. He began to become desperate after her stubborn ways to avoid Ned. He needed her to disappear from his life so nobody could use her against him or rather so Dougal could not use her against him. But he would not live for so long that he got the chance anyway.

 

So when Ned called and said that she had finally signed the divorce, the last piece of James Fraser disappeared.


	24. Chapter 24

She had requested leave indefinitely from the bank until she knew what do next. The only reason why it went through was her friendship with her boss Geneva.

They had become really good friends and when Geneva came by to look at the house for the first time, she had stayed for dinner. Julia sat in her knee while Claire cooked food and she felt relieved that they liked each other. Julia was always a little retracted to people she did not really knew.

 

They had laughed at all the men who wrote to her at True Match. Geneva had thought that her profile picture and the personal information she left was boring.

 

"

 **Name; Claire Beauchamp**

**Length; 177**

**Age; 29**

**Hair; Brunette**

**Occupation; Searching**

**Side note; Single mom, loves cozy walks, love being in my garden. Looking for a man who likes food.**

 

 

"Claire you dont write that you're single parent, take it away."

 

"But they should know what they are getting themselves into?”

 

"You should be looking for an one night stand, not a father to Julia ..."

 

"You're right... we should probably remove that part of my interest in cozy walks. It was probably the wine speaking haha. "

 

"You should change your entire profile, you sound like a little old lady who grows tomatoes."

 

Geneva changed everything she had written and took a new picture which she considered looked way more "sexy". But of all the strange men who wrote to her, she found a man who actually looked good and seemed interesting.

 

"

**Name; Daniel Rawlins**

**Length; 192**

**Age; 35**

**Hair; Brunette**

**Occupation; Veterinary**

**Side note; Looking for a woman who can handle my working hours, advantage if you like animals. My ideal date is on an Italian restaurant with a bottle of red wine. "**

 

 

"Oh yes he is gorgeous!!!, write to him and say you want to meet him!!."

 

"What should I even say?"

 

"Keep it simple, start with saying hi and then if he seems like a good guy you say that you interested to have coffee some day or just ask him if he want Netflix and chill hahahah!"

 

Claire had written to Daniel when Geneva had left and she put Julia down to sleep. It felt a bit too private to have an audience.

 

Daniel had been really nice and they had written back and forth for two hours. They had ended the conversation with that they should met up at a small coffeeshop a few days from now, he had promise that they had the best scones in London.

 

 

Julia usually slept in Claire's bed, they had shared a bed almost every day since she was born. When she went to bed, she looked at her sleeping daughter.

 

"You look just like him." She whispered as she began to think of Jamie for the first time since they moved.

 

He almost began to feel like a dream, the only true proof of their former love was Julia. An almost two year long marriage based on some turbulent days together. But she knew it had been real, she had loved him and he had loved her.

 

But the thought of opening up to another man again after such a long time felt difficult. She had spent every day since Jamie left her apartment hoping that he would change his mind until the day he bribed her to sign the divorce paper. She was ready to move on, she could no longer live with a ghost of man who didn’t want her. When the thought of Jamie began to hurt to much, She kissed her daughter and fell asleep.

 

Geneva had volunteered looking after Julia when her old babysitter called and said she was sick. Claire was about to meet Daniel for the first time, they had talked a little during the week and she really looked forward to finally meet him.

 

He was already waiting at a small table when she came, she had nervously stretched her hand out while he was going for a hug. She had tried to laugh it away casually but her face showed a nice red shade of embarrassment.

 

She had reacted when she heard him speak for the first time, she realized that his dialect showed that he came from Scotland.

 

The rest of their conversation had been a lot about animals. That he had saved his dog Leah from an drug addict when she was just a puppy. How much he loved to work as a veterinarian and he told her how he ended up in London after growing up in Scotland.

 

“I had a group of friends and they had bad influence on me, so when bad things happened, my parents made the decision to move to Manchester.”

 

“So things got better when you moved?”

 

“I went to therapy and then I got new friends. And after collage I opened up my own free clinic.”

 

“Everyone makes mistakes, you really sound like a saint Daniel, helping homeless animals and volunteering at the soup kitchen.”

 

“Haha I promise you I’m not a saint.”

 

When they couldn’t drink more coffee and had talked about what felt like hours, he had offered to make her dinner, in his apartment.

 

She felt uncomfortable throughout dinner not really knew what to do and just wanted to go home, the whole thing felt stupid. She obviously wasn’t a virgin but she never had been the one to sleep around. That night with Jamie at the motel was the most “exciting” and unexpected thing she had ever done.

 

But somehow the thought of Jamie made her irritated and even if she knew that he couldn’t possibly know what she was doing she felt she needed to spite him, punish him.

 

Daniel dit not at all expect the kiss she gave him but he did not seem to mind. She started moving them in direction to his bedroom, still kissing him and trying to take his cloths of at the same time. With almost two years of celibacy she was horny as fuck.

 

When he started undressing her she wouldn’t let him take her top of. Her stretch marks was a clear evidence of her pregnancy with Julia and not the conversation she was willing to have in that moment. But he didn’t argue when she said she wanted it on.

 

“Do you have a condom?” She said when he was hovering over her.

 

When he came inside her, it was tight and almost painful. But he took his time and moved slow until the wetness from her made it easier.

 

Daniel felt different compared to Frank and Jamie. He seemed like a good guy but she wasn’t looking for a partner and she didn’t feel any special attachment, she just wanted to blow of some steam.

 

When she was nowhere from coming and he began to fuck her harder and faster, she could se he was close. Stressed that it would end before she was satisfied she ignored if she was hurting his male ego and took her hand between them and started to touch herself. Cunnilingus obviously wasn’t Daniels thing but he seemed to enjoy watching down when her fingers was circulating faster and his breathing became lauder. His body went stiff and he slowed down almost immediately before he collapsed on top of her.

 

He came when she said she was about to come but he stopped moving before her orgasm could fully build up.

 

Annoyed with her small crappy orgasm and the with the heavy sweating man next to her she got up and started to get dressed.

 

She told him a really bad lie why she needed to go home. The lie was so transparent he had to know she was lying but he did not say anything about it. He followed her to the door and kissed her goodbye.

 

She when she came home she told Geneva how disappointing the sex with Daniel had been but talking to him at the coffeehouse had been nice. Even if Daniel Rawlings wasn’t her Prince Charming she was finally starting to get over Jamie.

 

She was moving on.

 

~

 

Jo and Kezzie had been faster than he thought. Dougal had been found in his cell alone, hanging from the ceiling. The prison doctor had wrote cause of dead was suicide, no one had questioned his death. But there was a reputation going around that he had written a letter before he died.

 

"Mac Dubh, I forced Dougal to write the letter. I made him write that he had framed you and that you were innocent. That he could not live with himself after that. "Said Jo when he arrived to Jamie's table at lunch, the day after Dougal's death.

 

"Why did you do that?”

 

"So you can get out of here! Me and Kezzie only have a few months left. "

 

"They will not let me out. I have 10 years left and I know that Detective John Gray will do everything he can to bury that letter before anyone will see it."

 

"I never understood why he so desperately wanted you in here."

 

"It's a long story, but he was tricked and took it personally. That's all you need to know. "

 

Everyone in prison knew Dougal's death was due to Mac Dubh, no matter if he was not the one who did it, since the day he entered the prison he had made it clear that he wanted his uncle dead. Dougal had been hiding on the closed department for almost 1.5 years. Then when he finally moved to the department where Jamies was tried to hide. But Jo and Kezzie sometimes behaved like ghosts and managed to take him.

 

For some reason, more people came to him after Dougal's death. People believed that Dougal had been in the closed ward because he was dangerous. But when the rumor of his cowardice came out, people began to show more respect to Mac Dubh.

 

He did not really appreciate the attention he drew and when the guards became more aware of his little "gang" he became a little worried that his new leadership role would reduce the chances of being released earlier for good behavior.

 

When the twins Jo and Kezzie were days off to be released, he started missing out on being alone, his only goal was to kill Dougal and then spend the rest of his time alone.

 

"Mac Dubh, when you come out, just call us, we always need an extra hand." Said Jo.

 

"Your not planing to stop robbing people?"

 

"We must afford to start our new life haha. Kezzie already has a plan. "

 

He had not really thought so much about the future.

 

But just a couple of weeks after the twins had disappeared Ned Gowan came by.

 

"I have appealed your case after I received Dougal's resignation letter."

 

"And?"

 

"Due to past incidents, the referee did not want to let you go straight away. There are a few guards who have reported a abuse that involved you, but he has said that you can be released in one year on conditional terms if you behave.”

 

He had been in a fight a few months ago, it ended that he accidentally hit one of the guards so he broke his nose when they tried to pull him away.

 

He did not really know how he would handle the information that he would be released earlier. In two years, he had managed to cut the ties to everyone.

 

Murtagh had not liked how he behaved and he wanted him to spend his time in prison to himself instead of continuing his vendetta to his uncle and had made clear that after he fixed the money he gave Claire,He had no interest in having further contact with him.

 

Jenny was angry that he had even been in contact with their uncle in the first place and said he only could blame himself and that he deserved to be in prison. She cursed him for leaving her all alone. But the worst thing was that he had forced Claire away.

 

Whether he did not have someone waiting for him on the outside, he wanted was prepared to to anything to get out.


	25. Chapter 25

She hadn’t seen Daniel again, he had been nice and they had had fun at their little meeting but no matter how desperate she had been, she would not return to the same old boring relationship like she had with Frank, she had just wanted to have a good fuck.

 

But he was persistent and written several times. Finally she had been annoyed and called him and told him she was a single mom who did not have the time or energy to date. He had said that he would really wanted to get to know her even if she had kids and that they could do it in her speed and terms.

 

She had even told him that she did not see any point to continue seeing him because she thought their sex had been bad. He had been silent on the phone for a while, then he once again insisted that she would give him a second chance.

 

The second time she met him, he had taken her to an Italian resturant. He had tried to impress her by ordering in Italian, but with his Scottish dialect it had only sounded strange but it made her laugh.

 

They ordered really good food and drank a little too much wine and talked and she laughed so much she cried when he told her funny stories from his childhood.

 

She nevertheless realized that she really did enjoyed his company and she thought it was so bad that he had been so terrible in bed, he had the potential to become something more in the future.

 

But she still told him that she was not ready for a relationship that after her break up with Julia's dad, she was still in the healing process and that she wanted to spend all her free time with her daughter. He promised her that after tonight he would let her be and wait until she was ready.

 

They had finished the evening by separating away from the restaurant in different directions. But before he left he had kissed her goodbye with all the intensity he could and ended with a promise to her that he would make her come if it was the last thing he did.

 

Alone left on sidewalk with swollen lips and warm feeling in her stomach, she felt that it might not hurt to meet him again.

 

The weeks went by and he kept his promise and he did not call once. But she still wanted to wait, she wanted to enjoy every moment her daughter.

 

Julia’s walking became better and she even started to run and was always too quick before Claire could stop her little shenanigans. She would always sit and try to help in the garden, but it usually ended that she tore up all Claire's flowers and carrots.

 

Julia was really Jamie's daughter, she was much bigger than the usual one year olds and strong enough to keep Adso in a bear hug without him having a chance to escape her strong little arms. But most of all, she saw Jamie every day in her daughters eyes and her red curly hair and when she was closer to two years, she began to ask about her dad.

 

"Do I have a dad?"

 

"Yes, darling, you have a dad."

 

"Julia wants to see Dad."

 

"You can’t Julia, he's in a place we can’t go but I know he would love you and wish he could meet you."

 

She had no real explanation, Julia was far too little to understand why her dad was not there. She did not really want to give her hope of Jamie. He had made it very clear that he did not want anything with her and he would be in prison for several more years but when the day Julia was older and wanted to know more, she would tell the whole truth. Julia deserved to know and decide for herself what she wanted to do with the information about her father James Fraser.

 

Geneva would come by after work and they would start discussing when Claire would come back to work. Whether she may not had to work economically, Julia started getting big enough to start kindergarten, Julia needed to meet other children and come out of the house.

 

"So if Julia starts kindergarten in a month, you can start working part-time at the same time?"

 

"Yes, It’s going to be a nice to talk to grown up people. Maybe not discussing 2432 times a day why you have to wear pants haha. "

 

"Okay great! we are finished with work stuff now! I have big news !! "

 

"Really? Tell me? "Claire waited expectantly while she made coffee.

 

"I've met someone !!"

 

"It's not a boring office guy? Your ex was so boring that I even fell asleep when he was talking. "

 

"No, he's anything but boring !! He is the sexiest man I've ever met. We crashed into each other at the store and he offered to compensate me with taking me out for coffee. Isn’t it the most romantic thing you ever heard?”

 

"Aha, what is this mysterious man name then?" She was just about to get some mugs from the counter when she heard his name.

 

"Alexander Malcolm."

 

She dropped all the mugs on the floor that broke into hundreds of pieces.

 

She had never told Geneva who Julia's father was or her story of why she moved from Scotland. But when she heard the name Alexander Malcolm she could not help wondering if it was a pure coincidence. But Jamie had left at least 10 years, it couldn’t be him?

 

 

~

 

No one had appreciated his new choice to retreat and stay for himself. He lost the respect he built and people began to withdraw from him. The only problem was actually the guards, they still was angry with him and tried to provoke him, but he ignored them when they pushed him and even when they spit in his food passing by.

 

He had spent so long to become Mac Dubh that he could no longer find his old self. The more guards attacked him the more angry he became, but he continued to be silent. With no-one to talk to, he became more inward and tried to take out his aggression at the prison's gym.

 

When the day he finally got out came, he had no idea where to go.

 

He meet detective John Gray in the parking lot. Who was obviously waiting for him.

 

"Do not believe I will let you out of my sight Fraser! The death of your uncle and your divorce with Claire only proves that you are really guilty . I'll watch you like a hawk.”

 

When John Gray jumped into his car again, Jamie decided he needed to leave Scotland.

 

Without anyone who wanted something to do with him, he called the Beardsley twins. They had moved to London and said they had an extra room if he wanted it.

 

He had never thought of continuing his old life as a criminal but without any experience or education he didn’t get any jobs. He had agreed to help the twins with a single job so that he could get enough money to start over.

 

He took care of the same old tasks he had previous and would find information about Helwater Bank. He did not have to participate in the robbery himself but only help gather information.

 

He sat outside the bank and remembered what Claire once said. Book a meeting to see who is responsible for opening a bank deposit box. He himself did not want to do it but Jo suggested he could go under a different name and Jo was referred to Geneva Dunsany.

 

He had then "happened" to meet this woman in the store and asked her out. He wanted to get as much as he could and the best way was to seduce her. He had filtered out his dialect to not be identified as a scott and pretended to be British.

 

He had taken her out and grabbed a coffee and been charming and flirted with her and when he said that he would love to se her again she had screamed yes.

 

They had eaten dinner and then she had invited him to accompany to her apartment to drink a little more and be able to talk more "privately".

 

It had not been particularly difficult, Geneva fell for Alexander Malcolm charm and looks and with some wine included, she had been proud and happy to say she was a senior head chief working at a bank. She told him she was only usually in her office doing paperwork but in favor of a friend becoming the temporary manager of new clients.

 

He had found the blueprints and more information of the bank when she went to the bathroom and he quickly went through her apartment. He had found them in a box in her desk, but when he was going to take them she came out.

 

She had changed or rather undressed, he had spent three years in prison, he had not had sex forever. But to see this woman almost naked did nothing for him. But he knew what he needed to do for the job.

 

When Geneva was asleep next to him, he waited for a long time to be sure she was sleeping, when she started snoring he got up and got dressed. He went to the desk and photographed all he needed and left when it was still dark outside.

 

In order not to raise suspicions, he continued talking to Geneva, they met 2-3 times on a bar and he lied saying he would go on a business trip for two weeks but that he would absolutely call when he returned to London.

 

But he would never come back.

They had planned the robbery into the smallest detail, but after Kezzie had been arrested for breaking his parole by caring a weapon, Jamie needed to take his place, their plan was too good to miss out of this opportunity. But he had decided he would leave England after, he was afraid he would get stuck with Jo and Kezzie if he stayed. But the money from Helwater meant that he could start over.

 

He knew exactly where Geneva was sitting. Jo he had given him a weapon and they were sitting in the car ready to go in. They pulled on their masks and entered the building

 

He went straight where he knew Geneva would be and Jo shouted at everyone to lay on the floor. He shot a few warnings on the roof and Jamie increased the speed full of adrenaline. He saw Geneva's head bent down probably about to push the alarm button.

 

"I would not do that if I was you lass." He said, aiming his weapon against her.

 

As she carefully lifted her head from under the table, he almost fainted.

 

"Claire"


	26. Chapter 26

The first question she had asked where this Alexander Malcolm came from. She had relaxed immediately when Geneva told her she didn’t know but that he had British accent. "Not Jamie." She thought, and kept listening while she cleaned up the pieces of the blue mugs she had dropped on the floor.

 

This Alexander, however, still sounded like Jamie when Geneva explained that he was one the biggest man she ever seen. But she shook away the thought when she began to interrogate Geneva and realized she sounded like a crazy person, she knew Jamie was in prison.

 

Claire had begun to see Daniel a little cautiously again and he had even met Julia at one point and he had been sweet when Julia had asked if he was her dad. He had explained that he was a friend of her mother and that he would love to become Julia's friend as well. Julia had approved him immediately and introduced him to Adso.

 

When they had sex for the second time, that man had worked like an animal to satisfy her, still not the best sex she had but he was willing and very eager to learn.

 

The day Geneva had come by to talk about work and ended up telling about the mysterious Alexander Malcolm. That day was one off the few days Daniel was going to drop by and have a quick dinner with her and Julia, but all the paranoid thoughts about Jamie had made her completely out of order and she had called and canceled in the last minute.

 

 

She had been in inductions with Julia on her new kindergarten and she seemed to like her new surroundings and she really liked her new friends. When it was time to go and she left Julia behind, she became sad, it had been the two in them in their own little world for so long and now, when she was on her way to work, she began to began to regret her decision. But she tried to convince herself that Julia needed to be away from her, it was only useful for themto learn to miss each other as well. And Claire really needed to be surrounded by adults...

 

Back at her job, she quickly entered the same routines and she began to feel satisfied with her decision to come out a bit and work part-time. Even though the plan was not working on a bank, she enjoyed the little bank she ended up in, always the same people, the same problems, but still it was kind of nice.

 

She sat at her booth and talked to Mrs Greenwich who was their to open up a new account when the front doors opened. Claire didn’t look up until she heard someone screaming. From pure reflexes, she bent down to press the alarm.

 

She first thought she experienced some kind of deja vu when she heard the robber talking to her. Like her body reacted after the traumatic event almost 4 years ago and started replaying it. But when she looked up and saw the robber in front of him and saw his eyes, big by shock, she already knew who the masked man was even before he whispered her name.

 

"You have to be fucking kidding me!!!!!!" She shouted at Jamie and she could see the cunfused looks her colleagues gave her.

 

But he said nothing, he was just kept staring at her and standing in front of her like a statue.

 

His partner seemed to notice that something was wrong when he stood over the unconscious guards, because he quickly begin to walker over to her table while still aming an his gun on everyone lying on the floor.

 

"Mac Dubh? What’s going on??"

 

"Mac Dubh seems to be in a state of shock!" She spit back and stared at Jamie.

 

The other masked man aimed his weapon against her and screamed

 

"YOU, OPEN THE WAULT!!"

 

"FUCK YOU"

 

The other man started coming closer and he put his gun against her head.

 

The anger she felt made her lose all her sense of sanity.

 

Their loud conversations seemed to make Jamie wake up and when he saw the weapon pressed at her head, he at least he had the courtesy to get angry. He switched to what she remembered was gailic and they began to argue with each other and he grabbed his partner's arms so that the gun was no longer aimed at her, she heard her name mentioned a few times, but the rest was just jibberish.

 

When they stopped talking, they turned to her, and Jamie started talking quietly with her.

 

"Claire, I need you to open the safe."

 

As he waited for her to move, she began to curse high to herself and she really wanted to kill him.

 

Her bank was not as big as her previous one and the other man had managed to hit the guards unconscious before coming to look what happened to Jamie. She was still surprised at what two men managed to do on their own.

 

Still not totally insane enough to argue with men wearing guns she opened the door to them and was standing annoyed and waited when the other man packed down as much money he could while Jamie stayed and watched the others outside. He occasionally turned around to look at her, like he still could not really understand she was there.

 

When the other man had filled all the money he could fit in the bag, he screamed something to Jamie and they left the bank. Jamie had turned around right before he went through the door and looked at her one more time. She had sarcastically muttered to herself that she was grateful that he did not bring her along this time.

 

She would have liked to laugh when the police arrived 30 minutes later, the incompetent police officers should have come a long time ago. She had pressed the alarm when Jamie and the other man argued with each other. So unaware of her in the conversation they had they missed when she bent down.

 

The police had interrogated every person who had been in the bank including herself. She had not told them about Jamie, no matter how angry she was, she kept silent, why she didn’t know. When they finally let her go, she got in her car and fetched Julia from kindergarten and they went home.

 

She had tried listening to Julia who eagerly tried to explain her day with the few words she could. But she was still in shock after meeting Jamie for the first time and angry how they met. The history had repeated itself and she was not happy at all about their sudden reunion. She just hoped that Jamie was on the run far away from her.

 

When she turned off the car, Julia quickly got out of the car and ran to her swings they had on the front of the house and started to swing. Claire was standing and unpacking the car when she heard her daughter yell.

 

"Mama, there's someone coming!!"

 

She turned around and she saw a car driving up on her driveway and it parked behind her car. She could see Jamie behind the wheel and she saw that he was staring at the little girl with red hair on the swing. She called for her daughter to stay at the swings who that had already begin to move towards their new visitor. Julia backed and sat obediently on her swing again.

 

He sat in the car for a long time until she walked over and knocked hard on his window.

 

He got out of the car and he was at least twice as big since the last time she saw him. Had she not known him once, she had definitely been afraid of the huge man who jumped out.

 

"What the hell are you doing here? "

 

"Claire ... I had no idea you worked there," he replied, irritated while still glancing at Julia.

 

She tried to move and stand in the way, blocking his sight so his attention was on her.

 

"What are you even doing out?"

 

"They released me because of new evidence."

 

"So you get out and the first thing you do is rob me again." She was so angry that she was shaking, how dare he come to her house after what he did AGAIN.

 

"I told you I did not know !!!" he replied as annoyed as her and began to pull his hand through her hair.

 

"I think it's time for you to go! I want.."

 

"Who's the child?" He interrupted her.

 

She looked behind at Julia who was still on her swing and she began to consider what she would say next.

 

"Who is the child Claire?" His tone showed that he began to be angry with her.

 

"Mine..”

 

"Who is her father?" He stared so intensely at her that she almost got scared, the man in front of her was not theman she once knew.

 

The silence between them was unbearable and when she tried to talk, her voice betrayed her completely.

 

"WHO IS HER FATHER?"

 

"She's yours .."

 

When she said it, he took a step towards her and her reaction was to back away, unsure what this man was capable of. Then to her surprise he fell down on his knees in the middle of the driveway. He said nothing but just looked down on his hands. His body started shaking violently and it took a while for her to understand what was happening, but when she realized he was crying, she did not know what she would do.

 

He never stopped shaking and when he looked up, she saw the face of the man she once had loved.

 

"Jamie .."

 

She slowly bent down and put her hand gently on his and he began to cry even more. Like the contact they had when she touched him was the last drop.

 

She turned around to see Julia was standing next to her swing and looked curious at her mom and the stranger. Somewhere in all turmoil, she really just wanted to introduce them in that moment, but the man in front of her was a stranger.

 

Cautiously, she tried to remove her hand that was now in Jamie’s, she had not even noticed that he was holding it.

 

"Jamie, wait here."

 

She got up and went to the house where Julia was waiting.

 

"Julia baby, can you go inside and play for a while?"

 

"Who is that mama?"

 

"It's ... an old friend. Mama will come soon, please go inside. " She was a little surprised that her daughter did not argue with her and went quietly into the house.

 

She took a deep breath and turned around, Jamie was still sitting on the ground, but he seemed to have calmed down. He made no attempt to stand up so she sat down on the ground next to him and tried to speak with her calmer voice.

 

"What are you doing here Jamie?"

 

He wiped his tears off with his jacket and looked at her with his swollen red eyes.

 

"I dropped of Jo and sat on the other side of the street when you were talking to the police, I do not know what I was going to do but then I followed you when you left. I saw you pick up the little girl and i could not in my life understand what you were doing or who the child was. I don’t even remember driving after you all the way here ... maybe it was my unconscious who led me here...."

 

She waited for him to continue but he was silent.

 

"Julia."

 

He looked at her with big eyes and he looked like he would cry again.

 

"Her name is Julia Ellen Fraser"

 

She was prepared for him to cry again, but he just shook his head almost violently and got up. She became terrified when he started kicking his car.

 

"Why are you here?"

 

"I don’t know, maybe apologize or tell you I didn’t know you work there. "

 

"Would it make a difference?”

 

"Obviously it had made a difference ... I would never have done it if I knew!"

 

"Why do you bother coming here? You made it pretty clear you didn’t want anything to do with me when you gave me money !! "

 

"I had my reasons ..."

 

She was still shocked at the unpleasant attitude he had with her and how quickly he had shifted from sad to angry and after all he had done, she felt it was not worth it.

 

"Do you know what, I can’t handle this? I dont need to know why. Now you know you have a daughter and what you missed out on. There is not much more to say Jamie. "

 

"Does Julia know who her father is?"

 

"No and it's obvious that that man is not here anyway."

 

She felt that she was going to cry herself, so she got up and started walking towards the house.

 

"Wait.."

 

But she did not stop. She did not want to show how much she cried or how much it hurt seeing him.

 

"Please Claire, wait."

 

She heard his footsteps coming after her but she couldn’t move, when he stopped behind her, he stood so close that she could feel his breath on her neck, which made her hair on her arms stand up

 

"I'm not the same man I was last time you saw me and I do not know if he's still here...."

 

"It does not matter anymore ..." she wanted to keep going but her feet refused to move. When he touched her arm to turn her around, she was almost afraid of what she should see.

 

"But I know that no matter who I am, I knew immediately when I saw you ..."

 

"Knew what?" She responded quite, slowly daring to look him in the eyes.

 

"That I love you."


	27. Chapter 27

In just a few hours he had experienced every different feeling the human body can experience.

 

Chock after seeing her.

 

Fear of what she thought about him.

 

Anger that he once again put her in danger.

 

Shame about what he was doing

 

Sadness that he needed to go.

 

But most of all, he felt love. He had forced himself to forget, but as soon as he saw her, he knew that he still loved her. 

 

 

 

He had quickly left a surprised Jo and drove back to the crime scene. He looked at her from a distance. She looked almost the same as three years ago, if not more beautiful then he remembered. He wanted to laugh when he saw her screaming and arguing with the police, she still was one of a kind of woman.

When she jumped into the car, he had to follow. Every time she turned, he was afraid that he would lose her.

He did not understand why she stopped outside what he thought was a school. But when she came out with a red-haired girl on her arm, he almost fainted.

When he watched that laughing little girl jumping into Claire's car, he could not believe it.

He already knew that she had to be his daughter, regardless of whether he just saw her for a minute, he could see that she was a mirror image of himself as a child. He had tried to count in his head how old she could be, but how much he counted she was far too big to be someone else's child, yet he could not assume that the child was his. So when Claire once again drove off, he had to follow her, he had to talk to her.

 

 

But when he parked the car, he could not make himself move. His body was no longer his own. He saw Claire coming against him and he was terrified to meet her again.

He was ashamed of how badly he sounded against Claire but he needed to know, he so desperately needed to know who the child was.

 

"Julia Ellen Fraser"

 

When she told him that she was their child, he collapsed and for the first time in a long time he was none other than Jamie Fraser.

First, he had cried more than he had done throughout his whole life. He had swam too far and drowned as his mother would say.

Yet, when Claire had touched his hand to comfort him, he was able to see the water surface.

But then he had become angry. Not with Claire but with himself. How he had forced Claire away and been so full of hate that he had lost himself when he was trying to kill his uncle . He was angry with everything he had missed. He was angry with himself that he had forced Claire to do this alone.

When he in frustration started kicked the car, he felt ashamed when he saw the horror in Claire's eyes, whether for the first time he felt like Jamie, Mac Dubh was still there.

 

 

But when she began to leave him and walk against her house,he had become scared.

 

Afraid she would disappear forever.

 

Afraid not to meet the child who was

inside the house.

 

Afraid to be alone.

 

Most of all afraid that he could not be the one she wanted him to be.

 

But he had stopped her and when she turned around and he saw that she was crying, he needed to tell her.

"That I love you."

Whether she turned around and never talked to him again, he had told her.

 

 

"You do not love me Jamie.." every tear that ran down her face felt like a knife that hit him. But he deserved it.

"I can not ... I do not know how to prove it, but I know I love you Claire. I've tried not to do it but it's impossible. "

"If you love someone, you do not do this."

 

He did not know what he would say, He had too many reasons and apologies and they all were wrong.

 

"I understand you thought you were doing the right thing when you left, but look where you stand today. Nobody could have expected you to be released earlier and regardless of whether you'd been in for 20 years I would have waited for you. "

 

"I wanted you to live, not to wait."

 

"But you chose for us, you thought I would move on just like that?I've spent every day watching our daughter grow up and see you in her. "

 

"I did not know..."

 

"No, because you did not want to know, you did not want anything to do with me. You threw me away like I was nothing. "

 

"I thought I protected you."

 

"No Jamie, you just thought about yourself."

 

"I had still been locked away."

 

"But you had known you had a daughter and you would have had me!!!!" She started to push and hit him. He did nothing to defend himself, but allowed her to take out the anger she had until she didn’t have any more strength to hit him any more.

 

When she seemed to collapse altogether he'd caught her. She had first tried to get away, but he just held her harder. He relaxed a little while she calmed down and put her arms around him. "You do not love me," she whispered low to his chest and he wanted to cry again.

 

When he saw his daughter open the door, he released Claire and backed away.

 

Claire quickly wiped out away her tears and put on a happy face.

 

"Julia, come here please. I want to introduce you to someone. "

 

The little girl was even more beautiful at close range. He had been absolutely sure she was a copy of him, but the more he watched her he saw so much of Claire. It was as if God had created a perfect mix.

 

He could not help smiling when Julia gently stretched out her little hand.

 

"My name is Julia, nice to meet you."

 

When his hand wrapped around hers, it completely disappeared. Worried that his size would scare her, he sat down on the ground in front of her.

 

"Hello Julia, my name is Jamie. It's really so nice to finally meet you too. "

 

Julia turned to Claire who was crying again.

 

"Mama why are you sad?"

 

"I'm not sad baby. These are other kind of tears. "

 

He could not let Julia go with his eyes, but when Claire spoke again, he looked up.

 

"Julia, this is your dad."

 

~

 

Julia had thrown herself in Jamie's arms when she learned that it was her dad and he had lifted her up and the look he gave her was gratitude.

 

Afterwards, Julia had pulled Jamie into the house and had eagerly shown all of her toys to him and left Claire alone outside.

 

She stood their for a long time by the open door and listened to her daughter. She never thought that when she woke up that day her daughter would be sitting and playing in her room with her dad.

 

She didn’t want to disturb the intimate moment they had so she had walked into the kitchen and let them be.

 

When they finally came out she had almost finished dinner and she had cleaned the kitchen four times.

 

"Mom, Dad must eat here now."

 

"Claire, I do not want to... I think I should go. "He looked a little nervously at her and then returned to Julia and said.

 

"Julia, if it's okay with your mom, I'll be happy to return another day."

 

"No!! No!!! You can’t go !!! "Julia's temper was also something she inherited from her dad.

 

"Julia !! If you stop shouting, your dad may stay. "

 

"Julia be nice, daddy stays?"

 

"Yes.."

 

Jamie had not said anything more, he just smiled and sat on a chair next to Julia.

 

They had eaten dinner as a regular family and Claire had even begun laughing when Adso saw Jamie again and he tried to scratch him when he tried to say hello.

 

Julia had not even let Jamie leave after dinner and had insisted that it was his turn to put her to bed.

 

Once again she stood at the door and listened, Jamie sat down next to Julia's bed and he told her about his mother.

 

"Your grandmother looked like you, you have the same hair color, the same eyes and you also seem to inherit her kindness."

 

He told her all sorts of things, and when Julia began to ask how he met her she she held her breath.

 

"It was like when the prince saved the princess from the dragon."

 

"Did you save mama?"

 

"No, she saved me ..."

 

She did not manage to listen anymore so she slipped away carefully. When he finally came out and told her that she was sleeping there was a long silence. Both looked emotionally exhausted.

 

"I can ... thank you for letting me stay Claire"

 

"She is you daughter. I can not take her away from you. "

 

"What happens now?"

 

She was thinking what she wanted to say but was interrupted by her phone ringing. The display showed Daniel's name. She saw that Jamie looked on the screen and his eyes went dark, but she turned it over and let it ring while they kept watching each other.

 

"I did as you said .. I moved on."

 

"I'm just grateful that I know you're safe and well."

 

"What are you going to do now?"

 

"I would never disturb the life you managed to build up here Claire. But now that I've met you and Julia, I can not go away. "

 

"I want you to be in Julia's life."

 

He looked at her and walked closer to her. He stopped just before he was close but not enough to touch her. She looked up and could see the man she once loved and became annoyed that he always had her against the walls and that he still had the power to influence her so much.

 

"Jamie, I meet someone."

 

"I know what was his name?Daniel?"

 

"Yes.."

 

"I just want to ask one thing then I’ll go."

 

"Do you need to be so close?" She could not help looking at his lips when he spoke. She even licked her lips.

 

"I know I've done everything wrong Claire, I've have lied to you, I've hurt you and, worst of all, I've made you think I do not love you. But I've never stopped loving you so my question is .. Do you still love me? "

 

She almost wanted to hit him again, who was he to come here and then push her against the wall and have demands..

 

"After three years, you show up and now you think I have to do as you say?"

 

"I can’t go if you don’t answer!"

 

She sighed and looked away.

 

"Claire? It's a simple question... "

 

He was too close, so close that she could smell him and it made messed with her head. When he touched her hand carefully, she slowly forgot who she was.

 

"What hurts more than losing you was that you stopped fighting for me .." she whispered.

 

"If you still love me, no matter how little, I promise to fight for you."

 

"Jamie .. this is not going to happen. Please move. "

 

She began to breathe heavily, almost like she started hyperventilating. He started moving his hand from her hand and slowly going up her arm and place it over her heart.

 

She should have felt insulted , but his placement felt neither erotic nor sexual. He wanted to know what she could not say in words, he wanted to know what her heart was saying.

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m crazy and upload to many chapters a day. So yo know and don’t miss anything

When he saw the name Daniel on her phone, he would have wanted to search the man down and kill him. But he knew he lost the right to become jealous so he tried to keep his feelings in line.

 

He had not meant  to be standing so close to her, but the attraction he felt was irresistible. Everything he desperately wanted was to know if there was a slight chance that she still felt something for him.

 

He put his hand over her heart, the quick heartbeat might have been a confirmation, but he wanted to hear her say it.

 

"Yes.."

 

"Yes what?"

 

"Istill love you..idiot."

 

He had to look like an idiot, but he could not stop smiling.

 

"That does not mean I'm going to turn my life up and down for you again Jamie”

 

"No, I do not want that either, but maybe that means you're willing to forgive me in the future?"

 

"We can take everything one step at a time. I think the best thing is that you're just father to Julia. I can not dig into old feelings right now. "

 

"So you don’t want me?" He didn’t mean to say it but it slipped out of him.

 

He was still too close to her and no matter how much she tried to deny it, their attraction to each other was so intense that the only thing that physically stopped him to take her right there was that he needed to hear her say it.

 

"Jamie I said I do not want to go into this now .."

 

"Okay, but ask me to go, I can not move away from you unless you ask me to."

 

~

 

 

She could ask him to move so she could breathe normally again. But asking him to go was more difficult. All her thoughts almost started spinning because she spent far too much time denying her feelings all day.

 

She was almost afraid that she was getting mad of all the thoughts. Some of her wanted to tear off his clothes, some of her wanted to cry because he had left her, some of her wanted to throw him out, some of her wanted to hold him and comfort him, some of her just wanted to sleep.

 

"I want you to go .."

 

He had definitely not expected that answer, he did not even tried to not look disappointed, when he slowly moved away from her.

 

"Is it because of that Daniel?"

 

"You have no right to know ANYTHING about my personal life. Do not forget I know ALL about you Alexander Malcolm. I've heard every little detail from Geneva. "

 

The little detail he had seemed to forget was that she was friend with the woman he was playing to rob the bank.

 

"Oh god ... Geneva, She thinks you are Alexander! What will she say when I tell her that you are Julia's dad ... "even she seemed to forget all about Geneva during the day.

 

"I can lie? Say I'm in a witness's program “

 

"Look Jamie ... everything is already a mess"

 

"I'm sorry Claire."

 

"What are you sorry about? That you fucked with Geneva or that there's someone out there who can put you in jail again?. This is Laoghaire all over again!! "

 

"I do not care about her .."

 

"Haha do you think it makes it better? You have managed to fuck the only friend I have. I do not know what I was thinking... that I don’t learn, how could I forget. "

 

"Forget what?" He seemed to be as annoyed as her but she could not care less.

 

"The only thing you do is to destroy ..."

 

"You maybe be better of without me then."

 

"Maybe... we have made it this far without you."

 

She chose the words she knew would hurt him most.

 

"I had done everything to be there for you ..."

 

"But you were not here !!! You left me alone. I had no one! All you did was give me money to make me disappear !!! Do you know how it feels to look at your child and cry of happiness to finally have a family but then cry because you do not have anyone to share it with !! "

 

"Claire ..." he began to move to her again. Probably to try to comfort her.

 

"Do not touch me."

 

"What do you want me to do then? Tell me what you want, I'll do it. "

 

This emotional day never seemed to end. Each time she began to move a step towards Jamie, she ended up getting angry and took four steps back.

 

"There's nothing you can do."

 

"So whatever I do, I'm doomed to lose anyway? All I want is you! I want my wife back. "

 

"Ex-wife"

 

"Stop ... you have no idea what happened. I did it to protect you. I was afraid someone would hurt you. "

 

"No one could hurt me as hard as you did ... I know... I've been shot."

 

"It's enough Claire I get it. I'll leave you alone. "

 

He seemed as done with words as her and he began to walk toward the door.

 

"You give up as usual!"

 

"But what do you want from me? You say you love me but you do not want me. You say I'm just destroying everything and when I try to make it right and disappear then you say Im give up. WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

 

She heard herself how illogical and irrational she sounded but when three years of anger came out at once and at the same time, it was impossible to control what came out.

 

He stood by the door and appeared to not be able to go outside. He stood with his back against her and then he turned around. He seemed to argue with himself. Not knowing what to do.

 

He took five big steps and then he stood right in front of her, to close to her again. He looked at her and sighed. He put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her.

 

She pushed him away and hit him in the face, but he pulled her back and kissed her harder.

 

"Jamie .."

 

"I can not talk anymore Claire."

 

And she did not either, she jumped up in his arms and winding her legs around him. Their tongues chased each other and he tasted old Jamie.

 

He carried her in to the living room and sat down on the sofa with her over him. She tried to pull off his clothes but she was in the way. She got up frustrated.

 

"Take off your clothes Jamie."


	29. Chapter 29

Claire was right, he just destroyed everything but he needed her so desperately ...

 

He knew the risk when he kissed her. when he had stood at the door ready to try to walk away from her, his whole body had begun to painfully hurt by the thought that this maybe was the last time.

 

When she had asked him to get undressed, he realized that Julia was in the room next door. Jamie still sat on the couch quite breathless and his cock was aching. But he was feeling a bit hesitant.

 

"I said take off your clothes Jamie ..."

 

"But what if she wakes up?"

 

Claire looked at him irritated, sighed and started walking away and went up the stairs.

 

Afraid that the moment was over, he just looked at her, still sitting on the couch. Uncertain if he should follow her

 

After a while, he got up when she did not come back, so he went up the stairs. There were three rooms up there but only one of the doors was open. Carefully, he went to that room.

 

When he entered the room, he almost had to sit down when he saw her.

 

The woman in bed was not at all the same woman who had been unsure and shy about her sexuality.

 

She was completely naked on the bed, she sat straight in front of him with her legs spread so he could se her. He could see how wet she was.

 

His body began to hurt again, he wanted her so much that his body no longer seemed to work. His subconscious wantedto slowly and cautiously make love with her and just enjoy the moment and somewhere there was his alter ego who simultaneously wanted to dominate her, fuck her hard, to destroy her.

 

Mac Dubh won.

 

~

 

She was quite happy with herself when she saw his shocked state, he stood as paralyzed and looked at her.

 

When she was around Jamie, she always seemed to lose her mind and god she wanted to.

 

She slowly began to touch her herself slowly in small circles until she stopped and looked up at him.

 

His eyes were almost so black that she did not see his pupils. But he didn’t  move, he stood by the door and watched her.

 

She let herself be taken over by pleasure as she slowly let her finger slip into her tight wet pussy. She moaned when she pushed her next finger in. She brought her fingers in and out faster and she felt high knowing he was watching her. She grabbed one of her breast and started to pinch her nipples.

 

It seemed to make him move and he walked against her. He grabbed her hand and replaced it with his own.

 

She felt his beard stump when he pressed his lips against her, he made a sound and pushed her down. His hard eraktion pressed against her and she felt the heat from his body. She stretched out a hand and stroked him over his jeans, and made another sound "Open the zipper," he said, and her fingers obeyed automatically when he got up. She pulled down his pants.

 

She opened her mouth and tasted him with her tongue, first she licked the head teasing him and then she took all of him as far as she could and he grabbed her head hard. The sound he gave off was animalistic.

 

His grasp of her hair became harder and he started fucking her mouth.

 

He eventually released her and she was almost gasping for air. She saw him momentarily starting to worrying that he might have took it too far, but she looked up and smiled and then she kissed his cock as confirmation.

 

She had never been so excited in a long time. She was burning..

 

She crept up higher in bed and was on her back while he got out of his pants that was still lying down at his feet and he pulled his shirt off. 

 

He was soon after her on the bed and climbed upwards but stayed by her navel.

 

She saw his tongue touch her stomach gently, while she felt his fingers touching her swollen lips. The touch of his fingers that teased her made her crazy. She tried to lift herself against him so he would continue.

 

"Tell me what you want me to do Claire."

 

"I want you to make me come."

 

“How?” His fingers still teasing her.

 

“With you mouth.”

 

He spread her legs wide open and she laid them on his shoulders, and when he touched her with his tongue, a heat began to spread inside her as if his tongue was a living fire.

 

He ate her like he was a starving man. His tongue licked her clean and his tongue pressed exactly at the right place while his fingers was moving frantically inside her.

 

When she felt the orgasm, she caught his head and pushed him closer.

“Jamie...I’m coming” she screamed.

Her legs began to shake and when her orgasm slowly taned out, he climbed up to her. She could taste herself when he kissed her. He could probably taste him on her and the though of them mixed together made her more aroused.

She needed him inside and tried to pull him on top of her.

He stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes and she confused looked back.

 

His fingers slowly walked down to her stomach again, following the pale lines of her streak marks that came during her pregnancy.

 

"I can imagine you pregnant with our child and you must have looked so beautiful."

 

"Would not have called me beautiful .."

 

"You do not see what I see ... I wish I had been here." He whispered.

 

The atmosphere became almost painful, it was not at all the same electrical feeling anymore.

 

"Jamie .."

 

"I wish I could have been here to say every day how beautiful you were, every time you doubted, I wish I could been here to convince you."

 

She would have liked to say so much in that moment, but she was to worried about the future so she didn’t.

 

She kissed him again and regardless of whether she could not say the words he wanted to hear, maybe her body could give him something else. She pulled him over and when he came inside, she almost wanted to cry.

 

Their previous intense and hard ways had turned into softness and he made love to her, every time he pushed himself further in it was with extreme carefulness. But she wouldn’t want it another way.

 

They looked in each other eyes the whole time, no one said anything, the only thing that was heard was their breathing

 

When she felt the orgasm slowly rebuilding, she needed to shut her eyes. Afraid she would actually cry if she looked at him.

 

As if he could hear her thoughts telepathically, he came at the same time as her.

 

When he stopped and she opened her eyes and she could hear her heart break when she saw that he was crying.

 

“I was drowning without you, slowly dying Claire.”

 

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

When she woke up and she realized she was alone in her bed, yesterday felt almost like a dream. But she could hear Jamie and Julia's laughter downstairs.

 

She and Jamie had stayed in bed and talked for several hours. She had told him everything about Julia, from her birth to Julia's first day at kindergarten. He had listened enthusiastically to every word she said, He laugh when she told him something funny Julia had done but then it ended with both of them crying, she cried for all she had to go through alone and he cried for all he had missed.

 

When they looked at the clock and realized how late it was, he had said he should go, but Claire had stopped him when he started to get dressed, not really ready to let him go.

 

It might have been selfish of her, but the thought of sleeping without him that night was too hard. He had thrown back the clothes on the floor and returned to her. They didn’t speak of their future or what was going to happen tomorrow, he just kissed her and she had fallen asleep safely in his arms

 

 

She took her phone and saw that she had been sleeping longer than she had in a long time. She put on her robe and started to go down the stairs. She began to think about the last time Jamie had made breakfast and was almost afraid she would find her kitchen in flames.

 

But when she got into the kitchen, Julia sat with a bowl of cereal while Jamie sat next to her and was eating a sandwich. The stove had not been used.

 

"Good morning Mama."

 

"Good morning darling." She kissed her daughter and looked at Jamie.

 

"When she came in this morning, I thought I would let you sleep. Hope it was okay. "

 

She nodded and smiled at him and went to the counter to make coffee, but the coffee was already done, waiting for her .

 

"I assumed you still dont eat breakfast .."

 

She stood with her back against him so he could not see how much she was smiling when she poured herself a cup of coffee.

 

She sat down opposite to them at the table and drank her coffee. She listened to her daughter who continued with the conversation they had when she entered the room. Julia told him she was going to kindergarten and all the fun they had the day before on her first day.

It almost felt like they always had this normal breakfast routine , Like they had been a real family.

 

"Daddy will be here when Julia comes home?" Julia wondered and looked at Claire, she could see Jamie's smile starting to disappear.

 

"He's gonna be here, right daddy?" Claire watched Jamie while she took a sip of her coffee and his smile got even bigger.

 

"Aye, I'll be here."

 

She left Jamie alone in the house when she went to drive Julia to her kindergarten. She had called Geneva in the car and told her that Julia's dad had show up the day before and she had to stay home from work to talk to him. She left out the part that he was the same man she knew as Alexander. Geneva had become hysterical of the news of Jamie.

 

"Oh God!! First the robbery then you come home to find Julia’s dad after all this time !!! What a day!! How are you?"

 

"Well, I'm probably still in a state of shock , but I starting to process it.. but is it okay that I don’t come in today?”

 

"God yes, call me later."

 

She didn’t know how she would tell Geneva, but right now she didn’t need to know. Claire had her own problems to solve.

 

She had left Julia who gladly waved goodbye and as she sat on her way back, she tried to distract herself by listening to the radio.

 

As she turned into her driveway, there was a car behind Jamies. She parked and saw Daniel on the porch with Jamie.

 

"Shit ..."

 

A little nervous and sweaty, she quickly walked up to the house.

 

"Hey Claire, there you are, I heard what happened yesterday. You never answered so i felt I needed to come here and make sure you were okej! "He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

 

"Hi Daniel, I'm fine, sorry I was busy .." She looked at Jamie who did not look happy at all.

 

"Daniel this is James Fraser, Julia's father." 

 

"I know we have been talking for awhile."

 

"You dont know each other?" She became a little worried that the fact both of them came from Scotland.

 

"No," replied Jamie shortly.

She relaxed but still was not comfortable by standing with her ex-husband and her... what ever Daniel was.

 

"But Daniel, as you see, it’s all good. Maybe I can call you later? "

 

She had to get rid of one of them before the awkward moment got worse. She followed Daniel down to his car.

 

"I thought Julia's father was out of the picture?"

 

"Yes... he was. But he came by yesterday, showed up from nowhere. "

 

"So he stayed the night?" Daniel turned around looking at Jamie who was still standing on the porch.

 

"Yes, Julia insisted." She lied and he said nothing more about the subject, He just said goodbye but he did not go without kissing her first. He probably wanted to make sure Jamie knew who he was and make a statement.

 

She stayed as he drove off. Irritated with Daniel and confused with her feelings. But when Daniel was out of sight, she went back to the porch.

 

"You have a thing for Scottish men then?”

 

"Stop it. What did you expect? That I would be alone forever?”

 

"No, but I can not see someone else touch you without wanting to kill him anyway. How serious is it between you?" "

 

"This is my life Jamie, you can’t come here ..... You know what Ido not want to talk about himright now?"

 

"Okay what do you want to talk about? There are lots of interesting topics you can choose from. "She heard how annoyed he was already.

“Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t just..you have two choices right now either you stay and we have a grown up conversation or you leave right now. Lose the attitude or I will throw you out”

 

”You right... I’m sorry!” He said and waited for her to continue.

 

"I can not explain how it was to see you with Julia when I woke up, seeing you two together have been a dream for so long ..But what kind of mother am I if I let you get into our lives without even blinking. If you become part of Julia's life and then disappear again ... "

 

"Maybe I'm not the one you knew and I don’t know if he will come back.. but I know I want nothing more then to beJ Julia's father. I will not go anywhere. "

 

"Is there any risk that you are putting her in danger by being here?"

 

"No! If there were, I would not be here. "

 

She watched him as he stood in front of her. The more she really looked at him the more nervous he seemed to get. 

 

"I have five conditions for this to work ..." She looked at him seriously and he nodded in confirmation.

 

"First is you have to promise to NEVER again do something that is illegal, one fucking speed ticket and your out..

 

Second is that you let me process this in my own pace.. you came from nowhere and now i need to think how this is going to work without you pushing me ...

 

Third is that you're going to be the best damn dad there is, that little girl is my life. She deserve the best.

 

The fourth is that you can never lie to me..”

"I promise Claire! I will never leave you again!! What is your last condition? "

 

"Where do you live right now?"

 

"I renting a room of ...Josiah Beardsley, you met him yesterday."

 

"The last one is that you will be staying here then." She did not have to look at him to know that he was shocked but she was as shocked herself. It was not the condition she was going to say.

 

"So you want me to stay with you? Here?"

 

"I have a guest room you can sleep in. I think it's good for you and Julia to get to know each other. So you can stay here until you find a more appropriate place.. "

 

"And what about you and me?”

 

"I do not regret what happened yesterday ... but this is too much, I do not know what i want. Right now Julia is my first priority. "

 

"You are right. I had not expected to stay here but to have the chance to be part of your life is more than I could ever wish for ... thank you Claire."

”This doesn’t mean you can stay here and do as you want... you need to get your life back together. Get a job? Go to therapy i dont know.”

”I promise!”

 

She must be crazy, but she could not deny that she felt better being close to Jamie even after all that had happened. She wanted to give Julia the chance to have her father, but somewhere it was also for her.

 

After their night, everything she tried to forget had started sneaking back.

Julia had been her rescue but when she was alone and Julia was sleeping she would miss Jamie so much that she could not breathe. 

 

But there was still so much that she didn’t know how to handle, She had Daniel, Geneva was there and his past as a criminal was the biggest problem. He needed to start taking responsibility over his life. He needed to grow up and get a job like normal people. He maybe couldn’t be her husband again. But he could be Julia's father.

 

After their talk he told her he needed to go and get his things and when he drove away she whispered.

 

"Do not make me love you again...”

 

 

~

 

 

He had said he would go and get his stuff in the apartment he had been living in. He had promised her never to do anything illegal again and he had meant it. But to really mean it he had to talk to Josiah.

 

He had been quick to pack the few things he owned. He had told Josiah that he did not want anything to do with the money from their robbery and that he was moving to finally start over.

He had been relieved that Josiah only wish him good luck.

 

He went back down to his car and he felt free. He had left Mac Dubh in Jo’s apartment. Everything felt like it was going to be okey.

He just wanted to hurry back to Claire's house.

He was given an second chance, he wouldget to see his daughter grow up, his future with Claire might not be sure but being close to her was enough.

 

He was trying so hard not  to hit Daniel during their small talk. He seemed to be a really good guy.. but when he saw him kiss Claire he almost blacked out. This was his family. He maybe couldn’t make Daniel away, But he would spend the rest of his life trying to show her that he could change and maybe with the power of god he could make her believe him. He was going to fight for his family.

He thought about their night together and he could not stop smiling.

She was the same irrational, brave and amazing woman he met almost four years ago. In 24 hours she had made him laugh, scream, cry and make him love her even more.

 

He was so in his mind that he didn’t noticed the black SUV that followed him. It followed him all the way to Claire's house and when he got out of his car, it parked behind him.

Detective John Gray jumped out of his car and Jamie looked up at the house when he heard the front door open and saw Claire standing with her arms crossed and looking down at them.

He started to panic and that little voice in his head said.

 

“You can’t stay now..you lied.”

 


	31. Chapter 31

“When you try to remember where it all went wrong, you always focus on the bad parts forgetting to appreciate the good ones even if it wasn’t meant to be....”

 

 

She had almost begun to miss him when she heard his car outside. But when she saw the familiar face behind Jamie she wanted to scream.

But she stayed quiet on the porch, She was so angry she didn’t even want to know what they were saying. Jamie's eyes showed fear when he looked behind her but she could not save him, not again. But with her bad luck they both began to walk towards the house, up the stairs and stopped in front of her. She stared equally irritated at both of them.

 

"Hello, Mrs Fraser. Or is it Miss Beauchamp now?" She could see Jamie's hands being closed to a fist.

 

"Yes it’s Miss Beauchamp .. What can I do for you Detective Grey?"

 

"Isn’t it funny that your bank has once again been robbed and at the same time your exman is released? "

 

"Yes, it was fun .. I love when masked men aim guns at my head .." she sarcastically replied.

 

"I was sad to hear about your sudden divorce? I would not say I was surprised when I heard it. "

 

"Sudden? We've been divorced for over a year now .. "

 

"Nevertheless, here we again, together ... History repeating itself...”

 

"What do you want?"

 

"I suspect your ex-husband is behind the robbery of your bank. You may not have been involved but you are protecting him again. "

 

"I know nothing and Jamie has every right to be here... his daughter lives here."

 

"He should spend as much time as he can with her then, because I will make sure he returns to prison."

 

By instinct, she began to stand in front of Jamie, she saw that his eyes were almost black of anger and he seemed ready to attack John Gray at any second.

 

"Has he told you he killed his uncle?" John Grey smiled and looked at her.

 

She became so surprised that she didn’t know what to respond to that. It seemed to make him smile more.

 

"My uncle took his own life. You read the letter detective." Answered Jamie behind her.

 

"I know the truth Mac Dubh .. that's what the other prisoners called you right? The same man who had a reputation for killing men with his bare hands if someone even looked at him. I heard Mac Dubh killed five men. "

 

Claire did not even hear what Jamie responded to that, she only heard voices in her head shouting. How those voices screamed that she was crazy, that Jamie changed in prison that she did not knew at all what he was capable of , that she exposed Julia to a murderer....

 

She started to get away from Jamie.

 

"Miss Beauchamp, it was nice to meet again. Mr Fraser I expect to see you soon”

 

Detective John Gray looked very pleased when he returned to his car. She could feel Jamie looking at her but she was still listening to all the horrible things her head was screaming.

 

"Claire, I'll fix this."

 

"What are you going to fix? You are guilty"

 

"I did not kill Dougal .."

 

"The others then? Did you kill them? "

 

He looked at her but did not answer.

 

"Did you kill them?" Do not dare to lie to me James Fraser. "

 

"I changed in prison, I did things to protect myself. But I did not kill anyone .. "

 

 

She tried to read him to see if he was lying but she did not know the man in front of her, she realized that she had never really known him.

 

 

"I don’t know if anything that is coming out of your mouth is just more lies.. you said you would not put us in danger."

 

"I hardly think John Grey is going to hurt you Claire and I'd never let him if he tried, you know that. He just wants me back in prison. "

 

"He may not physically hurt me but he will harass us until he gets what he wants. You're guilty so he'll never stop and it will hurt Jamie,on the inside. "

 

"There is no clear evidence that I was even there Claire .."

 

"Yes there is! Geneva could testify and if the trial hears Alexander Malcolm again you are fucked. Then we have the biggest proof... me. "

 

She started thinking if prison had made him stupid. How could he not see all the evidence against him.

 

"You've performed this robbery exactly the same way as you did the last time..What did you expect? "

 

"I did not expect you ... My plan was to take the money and leave..”

 

"As I said ... EXACTLY the same as last time, you didn’t expect me then either...." she interrupted him.

 

"What do you want me to do now?" She could hear his despair in his voice.

 

"I do not know you many have to follow through your plan for once.. take the money and leave. I doubt you will come out again if you go back to jail... "

 

She could not talk any more, she only had two more hours left before she had to pick up Julia, Claire needed to lay down in a dark room and be alone. She left Jamie outside on the porch.

 

When she closed the door to her room, she did not know if he was still out there or if he had taken her advice. She cried with her head pressed into the pillow and started to scream out her frustration.

 

How could she think they could be a "perfect happy family" how could she even have offered him to stay. She had romanticized their “love story” for so many years, she started to believe the lie. Cause it was obvious a big fat lie she thought.

 

When she heard him knocking at the door, she buried her head deeper in the pillow. She didn’t hear him enter the room, she just felt how his weight on the other side of the bed moved when he sat down.

 

"Get outJamie." She mumbled still buried in the wet pillow.

 

"Can you please give me five minutes?"

 

She sighed and sat up and put the pillow in her knee. She certainly looked awful with mascara throughout her face but he almost looked worse.

 

"I thought I should go... that I'm going out through that door and never come back. Let you go back to the life as it was 48 hours ago, without me. But I've been sitting on that damn porch for 49 minutes now. The thought of never seeing you again is unbearabl... so I was wondering ... "

 

He seemed nervous about what he would ask and his hand started shaking, She even became nervous watching him.

 

"I'm going to the police tomorrow and turn myself in... My question is if you maybe could visit me sometime?”

 

"Why would you do that?"

 

"I'd rather be in prison with a small chance to see you...then to leave like a free man and never see you again."

 

She could do nothing but nod, the shock was too big to get something out that even resembled words. She felt warm inside, perhaps it was not traditional family life, but it meant that he would take the consequences of his actions and he earned some extra points of respect.

 

He released a deep breath he been holding.

 

"Maybe I can stay? I just want to have one last day with you and Julia before i go tomorrow .. if that's okay? "

 


	32. Chapter 32

They sat side by side in the front seat in Claire’s car, they were on their way to pick up Julia. Claire had agreed to let him stay without hesitation. He deserved one last day with his daughter.

 

He had made her promised him that they would not talk about what was going to happen tomorrow, no crying and no hard goodbyes, He only wanted to live the life he never even knew he could have had, A normal day as if they were a regular family, But Claire had to force herself not to cry almost every minute after that. She actually thought that the best thing was that he should take his punishment, But yet the whole situation felt so wrong.

The usually short distance to Julia's kindergarten felt triple as long. Perhaps she was driving slower unknowingly, as if her subconscious knew that this car journey alone with him was the last time. She tried to distract herself by thinking about Daniel, but the only thing she could think about was that Daniel would never be Jamie and she realized how selfish she would be if she didn’t end it. She really was destined to live alone, the curse of having been in love with Jamie left her with the consequences that no one could ever be enough. When they parked outside of Julia’s kindergarten Jamie almost looked scared.

 

“What is it Jamie?”

 

“This is just one more thing I never have done, one more thing I have missed. I know I couldn’t have been here but just the thought of all the pictures I could have had.”

 

“Hey... come on we said no tears. Let’s go Julia is going to be so happy you are here.”

 

They went inside together and when the got to the classroom, Julia had shined up like a sun when she saw both of her parents there to pick her up, she ran so fast that she almost trip over her friend and she ran straight to Jamie first. She scarcely showed any interest in Claire but she really didn’t mind and once again she couldn’t d even follow her own advice and tried not to cry when she saw her daughter throw herself in her father's arms. Her otherwise shy little daughter had really fallen in love with Jamie almost as fast as Claire herself had done the first time she really got to know him. How do you explain to a child that her father isn’t coming back...

 

Julia had introduced Julia to all of her friends and shows him all of her favorites toys. Julia gave him a pile of drawings she had made that day and then she also introduced Jamie to her teacher Miss Laura Wesley. She had reacted like most people did when they saw the big attractive man.

Laura had first been a little embarrassed and bit clumsy when she introduced herself to Jamie and then she had adjusted her dress to emphasize her breasts hoping to get some kind of response or confirmation from Jamie's side when she heard they weren’t together. But he seemed mostly uncomfortable of the whole situation and when Claire said it was time to go, Jamie looked very relieved that he didn’t have to talk to Miss Wesley anymore. Claire gave Miss Wesley one hard look full of disapproval and felt satisfied when she saw the kindergarten teacher left in the corner full of shame. Maybe Jamie wasn’t hers but no one was going to flirt with him in front of her. But she still felt ashamed of all the angry jealous thoughts she had felt. He wanted her and loved her and she turned him down.

When they all three was in the car, Julia asked in the politest way a child could when she heard that they were going to the store. "Julia wants ice cream!!!" She screamed repeatedly at least 30 times until they arrived to the supermarket. His wish was that they would be a real normal family for one day and that's what he would get. It almost felt ridiculous when they walked around and discussed about what they should buy and when she asked what he wanted for dinner.

 

"I don’t know Claire, what do you like?”

 

“It’s your day Jamie... pick something..”

 

“Haha this is what normal couples do ey? Argue in the store what to eat.” He must have realized he referred them as a couple and was quick to try to and change the subject.

 

“And after all you are the one who have to cook the food, so should be the one the chose. My cooking skills haven’t really improved in prison. "

 

But when their daughter seemed to have her own ideas and started loading the cart full of bottles of whipped cream, they all laughed and ended up buying all ingredients to make pancakes. In the car back home Claire and Jamie sat quietly and just listen to their daughter singing along to her playlist, Claire could se in the corner of her eye that Jamie was smiling but she could just as much se the pain he was trying to hide.

They spent the rest of the day in her back yard. They played with the water hose and chased each other and Claire laughed and screamed when Jamie and Julia teamed up to attack her. Again it was as it always been the three of them. “It’s not real” she kept thinking.

She had been a little hesitant about his wish that they should come and visit him in prison, but after seeing Julia and Jamie together and that unbelievable special bond they so quick had built she felt that it wouldn’t be possible to separate them even if she tried and Julia would never forgive her if she took Jamie from her after she finally had meet him.

Claire was almost annoyed that the man in front of her did not match the picture she had got painted after his time in prison. He said multiple times that he wasn’t the man she once knew and that he had done terrible things to survive and even detective Gray had terrible things to say about Jamie, but the man in front of her was simply Julia's father, A man who didn’t hesitated to get on all four and pretended to be a horse when his two-year-old daughter asked him to. She couldn’t see a single sign of a violent behavior or a dark side from that man. She only saw a father who loved his daughter unconditionally. A man who now was going to take his punishment without hesitation because he rather spend his life in jail with the possibility to see his daughter.

Claire remembered when he told her he was almost as lonely as her and after his parents tragic death, it was only him and his sister left to live in this world. Perhaps the years in prison made him feel even more lonely and he convinced himself that he was broken and unreparable and that just made him create this alter ego, But she could see that the knowledge of Julia's existence had made him whole again, Julia was now a branch in his family tree proving he was no longer alone. God would she ever stop crying today. The tears ran down her face again and she tried to wipe them away before Julia could see that she was sad. But it just seemed to be Jamie who saw her tears. "How are you?" He asked carefully when he sat down in the grass next to her.

 

"I do not know, it just that...this is not real."

 

"No, but it has felt pretty good anyway?"

 

"Too good.."

 

"Then maybe we could pretend for a little while longer?" He took her hand and hesitated but kissed her hand and held it against his lips while he kept watching Julia who was sitting down further away and she was very concentrated on her search for ants in the grass. "Aye" Claire said and made a terrible bad imitation of Jamie and she was very pleased about how much he laughed at it. "A few hours, you can pretend, it's not that hard." She thought while watching Jamie who was still holding her hand. His fingers stroking her knuckles,in a slow familiar pattern. How is it even possible to feel like this, like the years that separated them never happened. Like all the heartbreak disappeared, all the anger she felt over being forced to divorce him , all the sadness she felt when he refused to see her after going to jail. When he sat beside her and still held her hand she could only remember how this was a man she once had been willing to die for.

 

“Jamie?”

 

“What is it Sassenach?”She smiled when she heard her old nickname.

 

“This pretend day we have... does that include us being “together” to?”

 

He seemed to get aware of that he still was holding her hand and seemed to get insecure about if he should let go of her hand.

 

“I know you have Daniel now, I know that last night was my fault in the heat of the moment. But if I can just sit here and hold your hand and you are okey with that, I couldn’t ask for more.”

 

“I would be okey with pretending..”

 

“Which part?”

 

“That this life is real, that you and me are real. I have spend the whole day wishing it was.”

 

"I still meant what I said in that room, I wish we had met in another life and at another place Claire and maybe things would have been different .. but that does not change how much I love you in this life. This was real ... " He said and God she was going to cry again.

 

“Everything i have felt with you was real... we maybe didn’t have the fairytale with the happy ending but you and me we were real.”

 

~

 

How his life could have been so different if he had taken Claires offer to leave Scotland instead of going to that courtroom three years ago. They could have fled to some tropical country like Costa Rica. He could have been with her throughout her pregnancy, he would have had the chance to raise his daughter and he would still have been married to Claire. They could have been the family Malcolm. But now he had no one to blame for getting in this position yet again were he was facing lifetime in prison.

So to pretended that the past didn’t exist and that Claire wanted to do it as well was more then he could ever imagine or hope for. He moved so he was close next to her and placed his arm around her and she leaned her head against shoulders. “What I felt was real too Jamie” He kissed her forehead and continued watching his daughter trying to catch the ants. “It’s getting late, I should start with the pancakes. You guys can stay here and play and I’ll come and get you when it’s done.” Claire got up from the ground and he watched her go inside.

He started thinking about how far this “pretend day” could go. Would he be able to go to detective Grey tomorrow and confess his partake in the robbery or would he fall on his knees to beg Claire to forgive him for his crimes and ask her to run away with him. “No...” he shook his head, he couldn’t ask that. He couldn’t ask her to give up the life as she knew again. He couldn’t have his own daughter living a life on the run. No he was going to go down to the police station and to the right thing. What kind of a father would he be if he didn’t took the consequences of his actions.

This time in jail would be different, Mac Dubh was gone and he had finally had something to live for even if it meant to live it by watching Julia grow in pictures and short visit now and then. He considered of calling Murtagh to ask for his forgiveness and maybe he could agree to watch over his family when he was gone. “Julia, let’s go inside I need to make a phone call, maybe you can help your mama with the pancakes?.” He places Julia on one of the chairs next to Claire and went outside again and called Murtagh.

 

“About time you called..” Murtagh answer and he was relieved that his godfather didn’t seemed upset by his sudden phone call. Jamie told him the whole story, about the Beardsley twins, the robbery, about his daughter and what he was planning to do the next day. Murtagh was quite in the phone and just listened until he was done.

 

“I already knew all this Jamie....”

 

“How can you possibly know?”

 

“When you asked me to write the check to Claire it tracked her down. I saw her with the child and she was the spitting image of you and your mother. I’m not an idiot”

 

“So you have know this entire time that Julia existed??” He started to get upset.

 

“You were on a destructive path so I wanted to wait until you came to your senses to tell you. When you came out of jail I was going to pick you up and tell you everything but when I got there you were already gone.” Jamie wanted to cry about the fact that he once again could have had his family if he hadn’t been so stupid. If he only had gone to Lallybroch..

 

“I’m not going to say I told you so about this situation you have put yourself in but I hope you know Jamie I have always seen you as my son and I will always be here, I promise to look out for your daughter and Claire.”

 

After his phone call with Murtagh he needed to stay outside for awhile to pull himself together. He wanted to call Jenny and apologize to her to but he didn’t have the words for it. He walked in to the kitchen, Claire and Julia were singing some catchy song along with the radio and was again he cursed himself for all the bad decisions he had made.

Dinner was everything he had hoped it would be. Julia was happily eating all her pancakes and had her face full of wiped cream and Claire told him all about her coworkers and her job, she left out the parts about Geneva and he was grateful for it.

They took the dishes together and he even got to kiss Claire after she got upset with him over splashing water at her.

When it was time for Julia to sleep, he got to tell her again about the brave princess who rescued the prince from the evil monster. When Julia was sound asleep he stayed next to her bed and tried to memorize her sweet little face, her red hair , her small little freckles that had come during the day , her perfect little eyelashes, her small hand that could disappear in his. His tears ran down rapidly and he wanted to stay with her just like that forever.

After a hour he said “Good night Julia, daddy loves you to the moon and back.” He whispered it and kissed her forehead and he forced himself to leave her room.

He searched for Claire downstairs but couldn’t find her and realized that she probably was waiting in her room for him, he took one step to walk up the stairs and needed to stop.

The hours hade gone to fast, he wasn’t ready, the thought of saying goodbye was to hard.

He knew that when he came into Claires bedroom it only had one _exit_.


	33. Chapter 33

Their night had been perfect in a strange way, they didn’t talk about tomorrow and he made love to her and it almost felt as they had sex for hours. They just couldn’t stop, each time they thought it was the last time but they couldn’t get enough of each other and they used their body’s to express how they felt without using words.

Jamie cried the last time and as Claire held him, she promised that he wouldn’t be alone this time. 

When Claire woke up early the next morning, the bed was empty.

 

05.42She put on her robe and she ran down the stairs, hopping she would find Jamie in the kitchen with Julia.

05.47 After searching her house, she knew Jamie was gone when she saw that this car was missing and then she found a note.

 

_I’m leaving my heart for you again, keep it safe. I love you and Julia so much / Jamie_

 

Claire didn’t have his phone number, she didn’t know where he would go and she panicked. This had been her idea, that he would take his punishment, but when she was standing in her house, crying she wished she never had suggested it. With Julia sleeping safe and sound in her bed, Claire knew she couldn’t go after him, she couldn’t wake her daughter up and scare her when she was this hysterical and she didn’t have anyone to call to look after Julia.

 

When Julia woke up an hour later she screamed when she understood that her dad was gone and Claire cried even more when she saw her daughter so heartbroken.

 

“Julia, you will see him again. He just need to go away for awhile..” Claire said and tried to comfort her crying daughter.

 

“But where is daddy? I want my daddy.” Claire didn’t know how she would explain where he was and each minute Julia cried after Jamie even more.

 

“Julia.. you know when you broke that lamp and then lied about it?” Julia looked at her and nodded. “It is almost like that with daddy, he need to take the consequences of what he did as you had to do when I sent you into your room.”

 

“So daddy broke something?”

 

“No.. not really but he did something bad and now he needs to go away for awhile.”

 

“Can we see him?” Julia said and Claire was relieved that she was calming down.

 

“Yes, not right now but later.”

 

“But... I want to say goodbye mama.”

 

Claire looked at her daughter, her sweet daughter who looked back at her with her big beautiful eyes and she couldn’t think of a reason why she couldn’t. “If daddy is going away he needs to know.”

 

“Know what baby?”

 

“That we love him..”

 

As Julia ate her breakfast Claire stepped out of the kitchen and she called John Grey.

 

Detective Grey didn’t want to collaborate at first, he reminded her of the last time she asked for a favor, when they got married at the hospital. Claire pleaded and said that she only wanted her daughter to say goodbye.

 

~

 

Jamie sat in a shared cell at the police station with four other men who was going to be transferred to prison. He had left Claires house in the middle of the night, incapable of saying goodbye again, if he had waited he wasn’t sure he would have  the strength to leave.

Detective John Grey had been called in when he arrived and John was very pleased as Jamie confessed, but Jamie didn’t say a word about Josiah. 

 

08.13 One of the police officers came and said that Jamie had about an hour before they where going transfer him.

08.27 the same officer came back,opened up the cell door and asked Jamie to come with him. They walked down the hall and into a small room. Jamie was surprised when the policeman took of his handcuffs and told him to wait.

A small knock on the door and Detective Grey came inside of the room.

 

“You get 20 minutes...” John said and Jamie looked at him confused.

 

As Detective Grey open the door again and he saw Claire standing there, with Julia close behind her.

 

“What are ye doing here?” Jamie said low as Julia ran towards him. He got down on his knees andhe hugged his daughter. Claire just looked at him, he could see that she had been crying a lot and all he felt was shame.

“We came to tell you we love you daddy.” Julia said and she hugged him tighter. Jamie wanted to cry.

 

“I love you too Julia.”’he said and he almost broke when he saw his daughter smiling at him. Claire still stood by the door and he wasn’t sure if she was sad or angry with him for leaving, He lifted Julia up and he walked over to Claire.

“You just left...” she whispered.

“I’m sorry Claire, I just.. everything was perfect and I didn’t want to ruin it...” he said and she interrupted him.

“I doesn’t matter, we came here to say goodbye and I just wanted to say..” she paused as she started to cry again.

“Say what?” Jamie said carefully as he wiped away her tears.

“That I don’t want to pretend anymore Jamie, I love you and I’m going to wait for you.” And he pulled her into his arms and held her and the three of them just stood there close and he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.

Then he smiled, not because she said she loved him, but for the fact that he she said she would wait for him.

 

**Five Years Later.**

 

Jamie was free, he had his things and he walked out of the prison that had been his home for the last five years.

They had visited him as often as they could and Jamie was grateful for being able to watch Julia grow up, maybe at distances but still, he was a part of their life this time.

 

As they opened up the gate , Jamie saw them standing outside. Julia was almost as tall as Claire and the little red-headed boy beside her seemed to have grown since he last saw him.

 

William had been conceived their last night together before he went to prison and when Claire told him she was pregnant, Jamie couldn’t believe it. It was a gift from god.

 

As he walked to towards them he felt nervous at first, for the first time in his life he was going home, with his daughter, his son and the love of his life.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> English isn’t my first language... so remember that when you read something funny and when grammatical errors comes. When I have time I’m going through it to fix everything ❤️


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